Harry Potter and the Epic Tale of the Uninvolved
by g-na-1358
Summary: Eren, Levi and friends are fourth years in Hogwarts when Harry Potter enters the famous School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. How does that affect their school life? (Spoiler: It doesn't.) (Harry Potter AU. HP character cameos, happens during books 1-4.)
1. Years One & Two

**A/N:** I apologize for any and all american expressions that might appear in the text. I tried.

* * *

Levi Ackerman sat in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, curled up into his boyfriend Eren Jaeger's side, angrily complaining about the predicament he got himself into. "...and so the shithead told me he would tell the bloody house head where exactly I've been sneaking off to unless I agreed to play in the next game. I fucking _hate_ Quidditch. I'd send him to go eat shit, maybe even hex him for even suggesting that, but hell, he was serious about being a bloody snitch and I really don't feel like detention every night until the end of the fucking year."

Eren was struggling not to laugh at the passionate rant and the faces his sister, Mikasa, was making over it. "But, Levi, you're so good, I can totally see why the team is so desperate to get you play at least one game," he reasoned, squeezing his deceivingly small, strong boyfriend tighter.

"Wrong, Eren, _wrong_ ," the other scowled. "I'm a genius at it. Doesn't change the fact I fucking hate it."

"Right. Sorry."

Levi was about to scold him for laughing at him but was interrupted by the portrait swinging open, letting inside a trio of first years. The forth years wouldn't even notice if it weren't for the fact it was The Trio, or Harry Potter and his two sidekicks. The kid was famous and new and so the school still wasn't used to seeing him, especially when he appeared out of nowhere like this, which meant every head turned to look where ever he went and _that_ was distracting. Levi rolled his eyes when he saw what the commotion was about. Honestly, he didn't give a darn about the kid. He understood he was a big deal and all that but Levi being muggle-born, he just didn't feel the hype.

His ears perked up when the three got closer to their cosy-slash-angry snuggle fest. They were talking loudly, not exactly using their inside voices and Levi was about to snap at them to be quieter, when he registered what they were talking about.

"Seriously, I swear Snape hates me," complained Potter in a butthurt tone.

"Oh, Harry, I don't think so," scoffed the overly righteous irritant of a girl. Levi wanted to smack her every time he saw her acting like she knew better then everyone, even than the older, much older students. "He's that way to everyone but the Slytherins."

"You gotta admit he's worse towards, Harry, though," said the third nameless and faceless one. Levi liked this one best.

"Well, yes, but I don't think he _hates_ him." Levi rolled his eyes. Of _course_ he did hate him. Snape hated _everyone._ That was just general knowledge.

"I don't know what his problem is," Potter whined again. "All of Slytherin, too. I don't know; the whole house seems to hate me for some reason." Well, that was bullshit. Levi knew there were as many fans of the brat in Slytherin as in the other houses.

These three seemed so biased.

"Don't worry about those snakes, Harry. They are all just evil, cunning, untrustworthy idiots who can't see beyond their own ego."

"Yeah, Harry, they're just a bunch of slimy bastards. They're not worth you even looking at them."

Levi, Eren, Mikasa and even Armin, who was until then completely engrossed in his book and didn't seem to notice anything around him, exchanged glances.

They were silent for a while before they burst out laughing.

Mikasa then said with a smirk, "Well, they weren't wrong."

Levi gave her a look.

* * *

Levi was sitting in the library slaving over a charms essay, when he heard The Banshee Screech. "Leeeeeviiiiiiii~ Are you there?" He could hear her even from the hallway.

His head dropped to bang against the table and he groaned just as the door burst open and the stern voice of Madam Pince carried over to him, her annoyance with the girl obvious only from the volume of her voice, not to mention her tone. "How many times do I have to tell you to be quiet in the library, Miss Zoe? I swear I'm going to ban you from here if you do not stop making racket here!"

"Sorry, sorry, Ma'am; I'll be quick," he heard the Ravenclaw sing. Levi thought to himself that all three of them had to know the threat was unlikely to work for longer than five minutes.

Levi still hadn't raised his head, trying to find the energy he needed to deal with the Banshee, as listened to her coming closer and closer, asking students whether they saw him.

"Hay, young Lady, haven't you seen Levi? Short, angry, mean, says 'shit' every ten seconds?" Levi scowled internally. He didn't swear _that_ much. Did he?

"Oh, umm, I think I saw him back in the charms section?" came a vaguely familiar, mildly scared female voice; he didn't blame the girl for being scared as Hanji could be... a shock at first. After a second, Levi identified the voice as Potter's annoying girl-side-kick.

"Great, thanks!" Hanji said happily before pausing. "That's a curious combination of books, by the way. What are you studying for?"

"Well, I'm just looking for something. Nicolas Flamel, I can't remember who he is?" she sounded hopeful, maybe thinking Hanji would be able to help her.

"Sorry, don't know him. Good luck looking, though! And thanks again!"

Levi wondered who that could be for Hanji not to know. Probably no researcher of any kind as Hanji seemed to know about every single research ever done on anything.

He sighed when he heard her skipping around the corner, finally sitting up and pulling out his wand to magically bookmark his page. And was he glad he did so. Hanji jumped up to sit on his table, throwing half the things on the floor, because she just couldn't sit in a chair like a normal person. Levi gave her his best scowl as he waved his wand, muttering a simple charm, to return everything on the table in a neat pile.

However, his scowl was met only with her pony tail. Hanji wasn't looking at him, instead staring back the way she came, holding her chin thoughtfully. "I wonder why that girl is searching for philosopher's stone," she muttered under her breath and if she wasn't sitting right above Levi, he wouldn't have heard her.

"Are you telling me," Levi said sharply, bringing her attention to himself, "you knew who the guy was but didn't tell her? Sound's kind of Slytherin if you ask me," he sneered.

Hanji grinned broadly. "Nope, it's a Ravenclaw thing. She can learn a lot by looking herself!" she announced cheerily and Levi rolled his eyes. Still sounded Slytherin to him.

"Whatever. What do you want?" he bit out, maybe a bit too snappy. What could he say; he already spent too much time on this stupid essay.

Hanji didn't seem affected, however. "Oh, yeah. I little birdie told me someone was going to play in the next game?" her eyes were dancing with mirth and Levi felt the urge to gouge her eyes out with his stupid quill. Seriously, it was the twentieth century. Why the _hell_ did they have to write with quills? Has this school never heard about a ballpoint pen?

He reminded himself he would have to re-write the whole thing if he got blood on the parchment and took a deep breath to calm down. Then he growled back at her, "I had no choice. I don't fancy detentions."

"Because then you'd spend less time with Eren?" she cackled and Levi started weighing pros and cons of submitting a blood stained essay. "Anyway, I was by the lake talking with Moby-Dick," Levi didn't even want to know how she 'talked' with the Giant bloody Squid, "and saw your Quidditch team going to the pitch for a practice."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Your point?"

"My point? My point is, what are you doing in the library, Levi Ackerman? You should be on the pitch!"

Levi raised his other eyebrow as well. "Why is that," he deadpanned.

" _Because_ ," she huffed in response, "you agreed to play."

"Yes. Play in _one_ game. There wasn't a single word about any practice in the deal. What is it to you anyway; you should be _against_ our team."

"I have good money running on your contribution-"

"Proud Ravenclaw, indeed," the raven haired boy snorted to himself.

"-and if I lose it because you were too proud to go to a single practice..." she let her sentence fade out.

Now he just felt offended and his eyes narrowed. "Are you doubting me, you bloody banshee?"

"Of course not. But you haven't played since second year."

"I don't fucking need it," he positively snarled at her, sparks flying out from the tip of his wand and Hanji admitted defeat, leaving Levi alone to finish his essay.

The further behind she was leaving the library, the wider her grin was becoming.

Around the corner she ran into Eren. The Gryffindor was leaning against the wall, obviously waiting for her. "How did it go?"

Hanji gave him a thumbs-up and Eren grinned. Levi was fired up now, sworn to prove he didn't need training and so would be taking the game seriously, not dicking around and avoiding the action. Hanji and Eren could relax now. They wouldn't be losing their money anytime soon.

* * *

Hanji Zoe spent her Halloween night bemoaning the fact she didn't manage to get away from the prefects to go looking for a troll that somehow or other managed to get into the castle.

* * *

The day of the fateful Gryffindor versus Slytherin game arrived with a grumpy, unwilling Levi, who was dragged by his boyfriend towards the pitch by the hand.

"I still don't understand why you don't like the game," Eren wondered, glancing over his shoulder, where Levi was a step behind him. "You love flying."

Levi shrugged. "Flying is free. I don't have to go back and forth chasing a stupid ball with a bunch of idiots," he growled, expressing his distaste. "And if you hadn't noticed I'm not exactly a team player."

Eren laughed because five minutes in Levi's presence was enough to realize that fact. "Well, it's just one game. Try your best out there just this once, okay? For me?" he added sweetly, batting his eyelashes.

Levi stared at him for a few moments, before narrowing his eyes. "You fucking bet on me, too, didn't you."

Eren's cute facade fell as he grinned cheekily. "What can I say, there was a good rate going for you; I can earn a lot of money if you beat Mikasa in points scored. So be good and don't disappoint me, love. Or I'll demand a refund from you." He winked and Levi scowled harder.

"Tell Armin I demand at _least_ 30% of his earnings."

Eren laughed hard, stopping to give Levi a small, fond kiss. "I'll tell him, but you will have to do the negotiations yourselves. He's my very cute best friend and I don't want to be on the receiving end of his evil and destroy my image of him."

"Coward," Levi said, giving a kiss of his own. "And here I was led to believe Gryffindors were brave."

"I'm dating you; I think that's brave enough, wouldn't you agree?" Eren muttered quietly, stepping closer to his small boyfriend, grabbing his other hand as well, pulling gently.

Suddenly, Eren felt sharp pain. "Ow," he exclaimed, jumping away from Levi to clutch at his head.

Levi looked behind him to be faced with Mikasa, scowling and holding her broom like a sword. "Stop flirting and get going. You're blocking the entrance."

Only when she said it did Levi realize they indeed stopped just in front of the entrance to the pitch and there was a small crowd of people waiting to get in, all of them blushing and looking anywhere but them.

Levi gave them all an impassive, unreadable look and watched them all get redder, only Mikasa rolling her eyes, stepping forward and grabbing her brother's collar to drag him inside so he stopped blocking her way. Before she disappeared towards the changing rooms, she shot Levi a cold look. "I won't let you win."

Levi snorted. "You wish!" he called after her, smirking when her only response was a middle finger.

It took Eren and Levi ten more minutes to separate, Levi heading to the changing room and Eren to the stands with a grin.

He found his overly big group of friends, sitting in his saved set beside Armin, who was sitting strategically by the stairs so people could easily make last minute bets, his enchanted little piggy bank floating in front of him, his bookmaker's book on his lap. He was smiling in satisfaction, shooting Eren a sly glance. "Levi should play more often; he's making me good money."

Eren grinned back. "I hope he's making good money for me, too," he paused to stretch before continuing. "By the way, he wants thirty per cent."

Armin's grin disappeared immediately, replaced by a calculating look. "Fifteen."

Eren scowled right back. "I refuse to do this with you, talk with him yourself."

Armin huffed just as the commentary started. "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the long awaited Gryffindor versus Slytherin match! And is this a special one! The first match of the famous Harry Potter as the Gryffindor Seeker! The first first year in over a hundred years to become a part of one of the Quidditch teams! Moreover, today is also the great comeback of the genius Chaser, Levi Ackerman! It's going to be a big event today! A famous premiere! A direct showdown between Ackerman and Mikasa Jaeger! By the way, if you haven't bet on the result yet, you can still do so; Armin informed me he's accepting customers up until the official start of the match, so hurry on up."

At this announcement, several people got up and made a mad dash towards Armin's make-shift booth. McGonagall's lips tightened into a thin line but she couldn't really do anything as Dumbledore was actually _participating_ in this ridiculousness and forbade her from interfering with Mr Arlert's 'business' two years ago. She bitterly wondered how much money he was getting from the boy.

"And now... let's welcome the teams!"

A round of deafening cheers erupted around the pitch as the Gryffindor and Slytherin teams exited their respective changing rooms. Eren chuckled when he noticed Levi was still disgruntledly fastening his uniform. He felt a nudge from Reiner who sat beside him on the other side than Armin. "How late did you make him?"

Eren had the decency to blush. "It wasn't my fault; he was too cute, complaining how much he didn't want to do this!"

"Wait, Ackerman's a bloody _Slytherin?!"_ came a shocked cry from behind. Eren turned around curiously to see a group of highly shocked Gryffindor first years holding a 'Potter for President' banner. Had to be Harry Potter's friends.

Eren identified the speaker as the youngest Weasley sibling, affirming him that indeed, those were Harry Potter's friends. He was gaping, his face turning a slightly unhealthy red. Eren heard Reiner laugh and Armin chuckle and from the corner of his eye he thought he saw even Ymir smirk.

He himself only raised an eyebrow at the kids, asking loudly, challengingly, "Yes, he is a Slytherin. Is that a problem?"

Several eyes turned to look at him, shock and betrayal still prominent in them. "But-but... He practically _lives_ in our common room!" came a protesting shout from one of the girls.

"And? So he thinks ours is more cosy, so what?"

"But he's not a Gryffindor!"

"I practically live there and I'm not a Gryffindor either," Armin noted cheerfully, flashing his scarf in the colours of the Ravenclaw house after closing one of the last minute transactions, not looking up from taking a note of it in his book. He earned more of the loud protests.

Reiner laughed harder.

"Get out of the Gryffindor stands if you are from a different house!" came a desperate cry from one of the misguided first years.

Eren's group of friends exchanged glances, shrugging. The mature voice of Erwin Smith announced, "We don't want to fight; come on, kids, we're leaving."

Ymir sneered. "No way, the Slytherin section is on the opposite side; no way can I be bothered to move there. And you aren't going anywhere either, my dear sweet Krista," she added, grabbing her girlfriend's arm before she could get up.

Krista scowled at her. "But Erwin's right, we shouldn't cause problems."

"They are the ones causing problems. We are just here to be close to our winnings once Mikasa kicks Levi's arse."

"Not happening!" sang Hanji, already halfway down the aisle.

The girls ignored her. "But we are the Slytherins, Ymir. We would get the blame and you know that."

Eren shook his head. He would never understand how sweet, sweet, kind, and understanding Krista ended up in _Slytherin_ of all houses. Though her smile did seem a bit too overdone and fake sometimes, and she _was_ dating Ymir, so he supposed there had to be a good reason.

Eren glanced up at the first years, who were gaping again. "Just how many of you are actually Gryffindors?!" someone squeaked.

Hanji did a quick headcount. "Three Gryffindors," she pointed at Eren, Reiner and Jean, "three Ravenclaws," herself, Moblit and Armin, "four Hufflepuffs," Marco, Bertholt, Sasha and Connie, "and four Slytherins," she finished in satisfaction, gesturing at Erwin, Ymir, Krista and Annie. "There are four more Gryffindors and two Ravenclaws, but Petra and the rest are in the Slytherin section fangirling over Levi, and Mike and Nanaba are on a date in the castle somewhere." She grinned broadly, proud of her diverse group of friends.

"You forgot Farlan and Izzy making out down there," Eren pointed towards the bottommost row of seats where the two were all over each other with everyone steering far away from them.

"Darn," Hanji said, snapping her fingers. "That's one more Gryffindor and one more Slytherin. There's just too many of us when we join up," she sighed before flashing a bright smile up at the eleven, twelve years olds. "You just need to grow up, kids," she said with finality, flopping back down on her seat as the match started, unwilling to miss a second of her cute Levi playing unhappily again.

Ron Weasley exchanged a look with his classmates, muttering to each other how weird these people were. They would keep away from them from now on.

As the match went on, they had no more conflicts with the narrow-minded children and so they could get deeper and deeper into the happenings on the pitch. Eren had to laugh at how both Levi and Mikasa ended up pretty much ignoring the rests of their teams, turning the game into this weird one on one with extras sometimes blocking their way. They were taking this too seriously, Eren thought, although they were both very proud people and there _was_ pride on the line.

Next to him, Armin was dutifully taking notes on who scored the first goal, who was the first one to be hit by a Bludger and so on, so he would be able to distribute people's winnings correctly. Of course, he was also keeping score on the Ackerman versus Jaeger mini-match. Eren peaked over his shoulder to see Levi was currently three goals in the lead.

He was cheering as Mikasa scored a goal – he bet on Levi but Mikasa was still his beloved sister and he did kind of wish for her to win – when a mumble from Hagrid reached his ears, "Dunno what Harry thinks he's doing. If I didn' know better, I'd say he'd lost control of his broom ... but he can't have ..."

Eren looked up and saw that their miracle seeker was really barely hanging onto his broom as it jerked around like it was trying to throw him off. Eren frowned in confusion. Brooms didn't do stuff like that by themselves. Especially not brand new, expensive ones as was obviously the one Potter was riding.

Then a gasp. "I knew it. Snape – look." A pause. "He's doing something – jinxing the broom." Eren's frown deepened. He really doubted if Snape wanted to kill someone, he'd be so stupid as to do so in front of pretty much the whole school. He was more the type to slip them a slow killing poison or something. Not... cursing a broom.

There was some mumbling behind him and he watched the girl from Potter's trio running off somewhere. He exchanged a look with Armin who only shrugged before turning his attention back to the drama above the pitch, biting his lip nervously.

They watched in horror for a few more minutes, praying the Boy-who-lived wouldn't die in a stupid way like _falling off a broom._ But then suddenly a flash looking suspiciously like fire caught their eyes and the jerking of Potter's broom stopped. Then, for some reason, he was speeding toward ground quickly, coughing up the Snitch as soon as he hit the ground. Everyone blinked a few times in shock, Eren and Armin glancing towards where the flash came from earlier. They could barely make out Quirrell picking himself up heavily and Snape looking around in poker-faced confusion. They exchanged glances again, staring at each other in silence before Armin opened his mouth, "I didn't have any bets running for _that_."

Eren snorted at his best friend. "A crazy broom, Snape _mysteriously_ catching on fire or Potter swallowing the Snitch?" he asked in amusement.

Armin grinned, shaking his head. "Neither." He glanced down where Potter was now celebrated by his team, safe for Mikasa who was still sending death glares Levi's way. Levi was halfway across the pitch already, uninterested and ready to be gone and away from this cursed game, however, not paying Mikasa any more attention. "Glad he's okay," Armin added kindly.

Eren nodded before crowding Armin, eager to find out whether he'd be getting a bunch of money or favours from Levi. Honestly, it was win-win for him. "Anyway, who won?"

Armin blinked, confused for a few seconds, before letting out an 'oh' and glancing down at his notes. "Levi, by one goal. Wow, that was close," he muttered to himself, impressed. Honestly, he thought whoever won, it would be by more than one stupid throw. Who knows who'd win if it weren't for the dramatic distraction.

That evening Armin stayed in his own house and Eren and Levi took refuge in the Slytherin common room since the celebrations of Quidditch success tended to get annoying within the Gryffindor house and Eren really wasn't in the mood for that, not to mention Levi.

Eren had to once again admit he fully understood why Levi learned to move to the Gryffindor common room. Slytherin, being in the dungeons, was dark and cold with an eerie, greenish glow, the only view being that of the deep waters of the lake. It was depressing. But they had the most comfortable chairs from all the houses. Probably to compensate them for the gloom.

They do the only sensible thing they can think of and as soon as Ymir sits down next to them and starts teasing to add to the dark atmosphere of the place, they move to Levi's bedroom. Eren doesn't return to his house that evening. Farlan spends breakfast next morning complaining about giggling love sick idiots who wouldn't let him sleep.

* * *

Moblit Berner had to forcefully drag Hanji Zoe away from the locked door in the right-hand third floor corridor at the last minute several times throughout the year – he'd rather have a sulking Hanji than a dead Hanji, thank you very much.

* * *

The rest of the year passed in blissful calm, just like any other school year. Levi continued spending time in the Gryffindor common room with Eren, since he worked for it with that one match, and Hanji kept skipping common rooms like she belonged to them all.

Armin welcomed the last day of school with distributing winnings from bets on the house cup. To no one's surprise Slytherin won again. And then the end-of-the-year feast came.

To say Armin was pissed at Dumbledore's low, dirty, blatantly favouritising, last-minute move would be an understatement. As he collected all the money back, recalculated and redistributed winnings again frantically, he internally cursed Dumbledore and swore to lace his two-per cent-share-worth-of muggle sweets with a laxative charm.

As celebrations at the Gryffindor table got more and more out of hand, Eren and Mikasa looked at each other, silently agreeing that this was bullshit. Sure, it was their house and everything but this move Dumbledore pulled was just not fair. They didn't know what exactly happened but they have noticed (or more like heard) that Potter was in the infirmary unconscious for three days straight and Professor Quirrell disappeared. It was obvious _something_ happened but honestly, even if Potter defeated You-know-who all over again, he should have gotten an award or something not _house points_. Moreover, house points that were blatantly calculated in a way that Gryffindor narrowly won the House Cup. Seriously, fifty points for _chess_? Fifty points for _thinking_? _Sixty_ points for courage, a basic characteristic for a Gryffindor? And the winner; _ten points for standing up to your friends?_ Like all of them didn't stand up to Hanji on a daily basis... Sure, they failed most of the time but still...

Not to mention Armin looked partially like he was about to burst to tears and partially like he was out for blood. Without saying a word, the siblings got up simultaneously, leaving the celebration behind them. Mikasa headed towards the Ravenclaw table to help her blond best friend, if only by emitting her calm aura. Eren, on the other hand, strutted towards the Slytherins.

He walked to Levi, hugging his small form from behind and leaning over to kiss him hello upside-down. When he straightened up again, he asked softly, "Move over?"

Levi raised an eyebrow at him, pointedly looking around him as there were people sitting on both sides of him. "Where," he stated, not even bothering to make it a question.

Eren grinned in response and Levi was already narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "You could always just get up and sit on my la-" Eren was forced to stop before he finished by the force of the glare Levi was giving him, letting him know exactly what he thought about such a suggestion. "Or not?" he finished lamely, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

Quickly, Eren looked around and noticed the kid next to Levi was taking up way more space that he needed, being such a squirt. "Hey, could you move a bit so I can sit down?"

The kid with slicked back platinum hair, which looked pretty stupid if you asked Eren, looked up lazily before sneering, "Why should I? You're a bloody Gryffindor, there's no space for you here."

Eren's eyebrows shot up but before he could say anything, Levi spoke up easily in a light, entirely too light tone and a shiver ran up Eren's spine, "Oh, really?"

Eren was honestly too scared to look at his boyfriend so he didn't know what expression he was making exactly, but judging by the look on Erwin's face and by the speed with which the kid scrambled away, it was a good thing he didn't. Like this he only smiled brightly at the now terrified kid, thanking him in a fake sincere voice and sat down in the freed up space, giving Levi a proper kiss.

"Big bro's so cool," came a loud whisper from the other side of Levi and Eren leaned forward to give Isabel a look.

"I was wondering where you were. What are you doing here, Izzy; McGonagall said we have to sit at our own tables today."

"What are _you_ doing here?" she shot back, a grin plastered on her face.

"Fair point," Eren sighed, straightening up and resting his chin in his hand. He glanced to his right where the kid was now trembling slightly and sitting as far away from them as he could get away with without looking like he was cowering. "What's up with the first years this year anyway? First our kids, now this? Do they think it's a crime to be friends with people from other houses?"

Levi shrugged, putting food on his plate as Isabel laughed, saying to ignore them.

Erwin, though, looked thoughtful. "Well, as far as this kid goes, it's just that he's somehow come to the conclusion he's some elite just because he's a Malfoy or whatever. Honestly, pretty much everyone from the higher years can't stand him."

"So he's an annoying, spoilt, rich brat and he's not worth worrying your pretty little head about," summed up Levi matter-of-factly.

Erwin ignored him and continued. "But I have no idea about the rest. Maybe I could do a study about it. Might have an interesting sociological result that could be useful later."

He got several weird looks form his friends, even some from others who only happened to overhear.

Levi was the first to look away, being by far most used to the stuff that sometimes came out of Erwin's mouth, but before he returned to his food, he muttered, "You sound like Hanji."

Everyone burst out laughing at the over-the-top disgust Levi expressed. They all knew he loved Hanji dearly, even though he'd rather touch Snape's hair with his bare hand and without any protective spells than admit to it.

* * *

Krista Lenz spent half the train ride back to London consoling a heartbroken Hanji Zoe after she found out there was a _three-headed dog_ behind the locked door – _and_ a troll.

* * *

Before going their separate ways on the King's Cross station, Eren and Levi made plans for a date next week. They found out early on they were actually both from London and meeting up was easy for them as opposed to some other couples. They shot a sad look towards where Connie was assuring Sasha he wouldn't cheat on her and that they would survive two months without each other, and Krista and Ymir were silently conspiring about how to meet up, since the two lived not physically that far away, really, but Krista was from some big, dark, shadow family (they didn't know any details as Krista hated talking about it) and Ymir wasn't exactly welcome there.

Hanji tried to make sure that the group could meet up at least for their shopping for next year supplies but soon it became obvious that plan would fall through. There were just too many of them and each of them had family trips that fell on different dates. There was no way they could all meet up.

In the end, they managed to only make one bigger group trip.

Levi was half-listening to Isabel chattering away while he glared for the hundredth time across the underground train at the two middle-aged people who just couldn't let him go shopping alone. He just couldn't understand why his mother and uncle insisted on coming with him every year. They were muggles, it was not like they understood what they were looking at most of the time, and they there wasn't anything they would want to buy anyway – or at least there shouldn't be.

He was pretty sure his mother came only to have an excuse for a coffee date with Eren's mother as the two immediately became best friends upon meeting for the first time but as for his uncle, well... He suspected his insistence had something to do with the first time Levi went to the Diagon Alley before his first year at Hogwarts began. Of course, it was his first time so his family went with him.

They somehow ended up in the Knockturn Alley and stumbled into this dark magic shop. Levi was unimpressed as it looked like no one cleaned inside the shop for decades, but his mother and uncle showed an undeniable amount of interest. His mother looked satisfied just looking around once and never coming back but uncle Kenny kept asking questions about the display items and ended up having a heated discussion with the shop-keeper about the most efficient ways of torturing people and the differences between muggle and wizarding approaches to the matter.

The left only when his mother became bored and dragged her brother out by the ear. They returned to the Diagon Alley and went on about with their shopping, but soon they realized Kenny disappeared. He only turned up half an hour later with a suspicious grin on his face, hiding something in his pocket. Levi didn't want to know.

A week later, however, he overheard some of his uncle's goons asking Kenny how he found out "the new kid was an enemy gang spy" and praising him for "getting him to talk so easily". Kenny answered with a mysterious, smug "Magic," and Levi could only roll his eyes and pretend he didn't hear anything as the impressed, admiring "ooohs" echoed throughout their house.

Levi shook his head at the memory as they arrived at their stop. The five of them met up with the Jaegers, Armin, Hanji, Jean, Marco and Erd in front of the Leaky Cauldron. They were the last to arrive, courtesy of Isabel and her inability to choose a dress on the first or fifth time, and so they went inside immediately after their greetings.

To all the kid's relief, the adults left them alone as soon as they climbed through the opening in the wall, Kenny waving at them, saying to meet him at the bar when their done, stalking away without explanation. Carla and Kuchel headed towards Fortescue's chatting happily and Grisha excused himself, saying he needs to visit the pharmacy as he is almost out of supplies.

Levi briefly wondered how the man kept managing to avoid the ministry magic use surveillance. He was a trained Healer, but he worked as _England's best physical therapist and homeopath_. ("He's able to heal even diseases and aches all the best doctors in the country couldn't make better! He's like a magician!" 'Yeah, he's a magician alright,' Levi mumbled to himself when he heard some women talking in the waiting room of Grisha Jaeger's home office when he went to visit Eren once.)

Left to their own devices, the group of teenagers started their journey around the Diagon Alley, starting with the mundane shopping and keeping Hanji out of trouble and Eren and Jean as far away from each other as possible. Despite the popular opinion, they learned from their mistakes. The incident from their third year's Hogsmead trip that ended with Jean sporting the Hog's head's sign in place of his own head and Eren locked inside the Shrieking Shack was still fresh in their minds. (Some of them laughed way too hard as they watched Mikasa rescue a terrified Eren and Armin try to transfigure a fuming Jean back to _ever_ forget.)

They left the book shopping for last as no one could be bothered to carry the weight around but as they neared the bookshop, they almost turned right back around. For some reason, there was an insanely long line of blushing witches. Eren had to drag Levi inside forcibly, steering him carefully through the crowds as they looked for their books. When they saw the commotion was about the autograph session of one Gilderoy Lockhart, the author of most of their required books, they curiously went to look at the guy, picking up a book along the way. Mikasa turned a few pages of the book, Break with a Banshee, and shut it resolutely. "I'm not buying this crap. I vote we buy one set and share it between the all of us. Though I doubt any of us will actually need it."

Armin looked through the book curiously, then towards the beginning of the line where a sparkly, pretty boy was sitting surrounded by his own photographs, flashing unnaturally white smiles. "Well, who wants to bet this guy's gonna be our new DADA teacher?"

Levi scoffed. "The guy looks like he wouldn't be able to deal with Hanji, much less an actual Banshee."

"Hey!" Hanji protested. She was generally ignored as everyone nodded in agreement.

"Well," started explaining Armin, "these are obviously adventure novels. Who in their right mind would make these into textbooks? It's gotta be either one of his fangirls, or him."

* * *

"I still can't believe Armin was right," Eren said in amazement as the fifth year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs headed for their first Defence against the Dark Arts class of the year.

"I just hope the classes won't be as useless as they seem they will be," grumbled Jean in response. "We do have OWLs this year."

"At least he seems stupid enough to not notice me eating," laughed Sasha hugging a bag of food to her chest.

"And me sleeping," added Connie, high-fiving his girlfriend.

Isabel joined the optimistic approach, " _And_ he's nice to look at, you can't deny that."

The only one who seemed to agree was Petra, who sighed dreamily. The others gave her a disgusted look. "Are you serious?" Mikasa asked, horrified.

Eren shook his head, saying gravely, "I feel sorry for Farlan."

"Oh come on, he's so pretty!" Petra whined and Auruo looked like he highly regretted his hopeless crush.

"I will never understand women and their standards," muttered Gunther, Erd nodding along.

Petra and Isabel didn't speak to any of them for the rest of the day, even after witnessing what a turn-off Lockhart's narcissism was. Admitting to your mistakes was hard.

* * *

Then Halloween came and with it, confusion and worry. It was not like anyone would miss Mrs Norris but seriously, if a cat could be petrified, humans could, too. And what was that about the Chamber of Secrets and Heir?

It seemed really suspicious and dangerous, at least to some. The Gryffindors seemed pretty much unaffected, apparently thinking their courage would save them from obvious dark magic and the Ravenclaws seemed more intrigued than anything. The Hufflepuffs were worried but Sasha and Connie were doing their best to be as goofy as always, dispersing any tension spreading across the group.

Ironically, it was the Slytherins who seemed the most affected by the incident, even though they didn't let it show. The instinct telling them when something was better left alone, better avoided at all costs that was ingrained in most Slytherins was screaming at them, telling them to lay low and hope the storm will pass.

The six of them started keeping closer eye on their friends, Farlan going as far as not letting Isabel go anywhere by herself. Levi trusted Eren to take care of himself and was further soothed by the knowledge that Mikasa wouldn't let anything happen to her brother any less than him, so he didn't feel the need to secretly follow his boyfriend from class to class. Honestly, he was more worried about Hanji as she seemed one minute of boredom away from going on a Chamber of Secrets hunt.

That didn't mean he didn't worry about Eren, of course. And him trying to hide it also didn't mean he succeeded. The two were sitting by the lake one afternoon when Eren brought it up.

"Why are you so worried?" he asked softly, watching Hanji try to communicate with Moby-Dick on the other side. (The whole group stopped questioning the fact Moby-Dick was a whale while the Squid was, well, a _squid,_ a long time ago. They just made peace with the fact that Hanji is Hanji.)

"I'm not," Levi said stubbornly, throwing a little stone into the water.

Eren sighed, looking over at his boyfriend and taking his hand. "Levi. You are worried."

There was silence for a long while, Eren waiting patiently as Levi played with his fingers absently. Then, finally, "Someone died the last time the Chamber was supposedly open."

Eren caught Levi's fingers and squeezed tightly. "That doesn't mean someone will die this time."

"I know. But... no one knows what happened. What caused the petrification. Not even Dumbledore. How do you defend against it? If some lunatic suddenly runs at you from around the corner, firing some unknown, old, dark curse, what are you supposed to do?"

"You're thinking too hard about it." Eren smiled reassuringly but Levi only scowled at him in return.

"No, you're just taking it too lightly. If Uncle Kenny taught me something, it's fighting with a knife and knowing when to run. I should be running right now."

"But you aren't," Eren pointed out cheekily.

Levi rolled his eyes before leaning over and kissing Eren softly. "Just don't let anything happen to you."

* * *

Nanaba was once again left questioning Hanji Zoe's sanity as the later started running around their bedroom in panic, screaming about how Leggy and Bitey, the spiders living in the corner by her bed, had disappeared and she had to go find them before something happened to them. (Nanaba didn't dare tell her roommate she... disposed of them after she found them crawling towards her bed that was under the window. With her wand. From across the room. And _no_ , she _wasn't_ afraid of spiders.)

* * *

The second attack happened, this time petrifying a student. To say everyone was starting to feel uneasy would be an understatement. However, upon finding the notice about a Duelling Club, Levi had to scoff. Needless to say, he didn't share the entire student body's relief and excitement and it seemed like Farlan and Isabel were the only two people understanding his sentiment. Probably because they understood all too well where it was coming from, growing up the same way Levi did.

"This is complete bullshit; how do these people think it's going to help," Levi muttered in amazement as he watched the students reacting with unveiled joy.

"I know right?" snickered Isabel, leaning over Farlan. "It's not like when someone is going to jump you, they are going to ask nicely if it's okay with you."

Farlan laughed loudly at the mental image of Kenny or some of the scarier gang members going to attack someone and asking them to "take out your gun and take up position for a duel, please and thank you." It was beyond ridiculous.

"Don't you think it might prepare us at least a little?" Erwin asked seriously.

The three of them looked at each other before simultaneously replying, "Not a chance."

In the end no one managed to talk either of them into coming to the Duelling Club meeting but everyone else in their group went. And they had to admit it _was_ useless, mostly because the teacher was Lockhart, Snape being there obviously just to have an excuse to humiliate the other teacher and not giving a darn about the club otherwise. But there was one thing that made them not regret coming.

As they were told to pair up, they somehow ended up in a way that had Mikasa with Annie. Needless to say, none of the others even started their mock-duels, instead watching carefully how the two would go at it. And it was... intense. The two girls had distinctly different fighting styles but no one could tell which one had the advantage. Spells were flying at rapid speed from both of them and then everywhere around them as they kept reflecting them. Their audience, that grew steadily until half the hall was watching the duel, was forced to move further away as no one was exactly eager to end up getting hit with any stray spells.

Armin just started accepting bets when they were interrupted by a loud shout of "Finite Incantatem!"

Everyone around was angry at Snape for stopping the fierce fight and not letting them witness it to the end. However, no one dared to protest.

At least they got to find out there was a Parselmouth in this day and age first hand. Moreover, _Harry Potter_ was one. Intriguing to say the least.

Still doesn't beat watching the two best witches currently residing at Hogwarts finally face off, though.

* * *

Erwin Smith spent his last Saturday before Christmas chasing Hanji Zoe around the Forbidden Forrest because, "I might finally find the Acromantula nest that the centaurs told me about! These cute little spiders will lead my way!"

* * *

Levi was beyond horrified when he came up for breakfast on February 14th. The decorations were disgusting and it only got worse when Lockhart introduced his army of "cupids". The raven haired Slytherin started feeling sick when he realized there was someone more than likely to use those poor dwarfs. He shot a warning look towards the Gryffindor table but Eren met his eyes straight on, grinning innocently.

Levi wondered if there was something like a wizardring PETA and how fast they could act if he contacted them right now about the blatant abuse these dwarfs were forced to endure.

Levi's anxiety only grew throughout the day as still no cupids were coming and he only kept witnessing other people suffering of their evil ways. During one break he was walking down the hallway, overhearing something about fresh pickled frogs and blackboards. He shuddered when he realized that Eren _would_ come up with something like this, maybe something even worse.

It wasn't until his last class, Potions with Gryffindors, when the fateful moment came. Snape was just explaining the properties of the potion they were about to attempt to make, when the door flew open and there stood a particularly sour-looking dwarf before it purposefully strutted over to stop at Levi feet. From the corner of his eyes he could see Eren beaming proudly.

Levi set it on fire before it could say a word.

This action earned him fifty points from Snape, a detention from Lockhart after he started investigating why exactly was one of his precious cupids slightly charred, and a sulking Eren.

(He didn't turn up for his detention. Lockhart didn't even notice – or maybe he was too put off by Levi's glare to say anything.)

Levi had to admit a week without kisses was _way_ worth saving him the embarrassment.

* * *

It was a week before OWLs when Eren stumbled into the Gryffindor common room with Armin in tow, both carrying a mountain of books. The two boys headed towards the corner table where they left their things prior leaving to the library, only to stop short upon realizing someone was sitting there.

They took two more steps, Eren fully intending to scream at the intruder for kidnapping their table. He was about to start shouting when he realized it was his boyfriend with his head buried in a book on animal transfiguration. "Levi? What are you doing here? Didn't you say we'd only distract you and you'd stay in the dungeons?" he asked instead, confused.

Levi looked up, the dark circles under his eyes only more prominent than normally. "Yeah, well, Farlan said Hanji was running around the castle looking for me to scream at me about something. Figured she'd be more distracting than you."

Armin frowned, depositing his stack of books on the table. "Why are you here though? You could have gone anywhere else?"

"She was here already. Won't look here again for a while."

"Oh," Armin nodded in understanding, sitting down opposite the Slytherin.

The three of them proceeded to each do their own thing for a while, Eren's and Levi's legs tangled together under the table and Armin doing his best to ignore that fact. It was an hour later when they got interrupted by Marco coming up to them, looking for Jean. By this time they were getting some weird looks from the younger students.

"Last time I saw him, he was hiding in his bed," Eren mumbled absently, turning a page and scribbling something into his notebook. (Because fuck parchment and quills.)

Marco thanked him, muttering about irresponsible boyfriends running away from their studies. Three minutes Marco was back with a reluctant Jean in tow. The two joined them in their studying session, Marco nudging Jean once in a while to make him focus.

They continued this way in peace for thirty more minutes until a frustrated Annie came up to them. "Thank fuck. I need this book; I thought I was going to blow the library up when Pince told me it was all borrowed out. Give it back in two hours."

"Hey, I _need_ that thing!" Jean screamed desperately as the blond snatched it up from his hands.

Annie only gave him a cold look, raising an eyebrow. "So?"

"Annie, just sit down with us, okay?" Armin tried to save the situation before blood was spilled. They were all stressed, after all.

Annie slowly looked at him, than pointedly around the full table. "And where am I supposed to sit?"

"Just pull up a chair or something; we can squeeze in here," Eren muttered, his patience running low at all these interruptions. It amazed him how Levi didn't even notice.

Annie shrugged, taking a chair from a nearby table without asking and flopped down in between Armin and Marco. Armin leaned over, giving her a kiss on the cheek. He smiled fondly at the slight blush that appeared on her face. Everyone but Levi, who was fully focused on his book and completely oblivious to his surroundings, gaped in shock.

"When did this happen?" Eren squeaked, pointing an accusing finger at his best friend.

Annie rolled her eyes turning her attention to the stolen book, while Armin raised an eyebrow, answering calmly, "Almost half a year ago. You genuinely didn't notice?"

The three boys were speechless.

The portrait hole burst open in that moment. "Armin! Heeeeeeeelp us, pleeeaaase!" came two cries immediately after as Sasha and Connie fell through, tears in their eyes.

The six of them stared at the two Hufflepuffs squirming on the floor; even Levi looked up, blinking a few times in confusion.

"That does it!" came a shout from a certain sixth year red-headed prefect. "What do you think is the point of separate houses and having passwords!"

Levi looked at the fuming prefect blankly. "To be fair, anyone with half a brain can get inside the Ravenclaw house. But anyway, you tell me. I've been asking about this exact thing since first year and I have yet to get a single coherent answer. Maybe you'd like to enlighten me, oh great mister prefect?"

Percy Weasley started turning red as Eren snickered next to Levi. "OUT!"

"I know the password; I have a full right to be here. Try throwing me out, shitty red-head," Levi said challengingly.

" _This_ is why you aren't a prefect," muttered Armin across the table, looking up from Sasha and Connie who were now, to Annie's immeasurable amusement, grovelling at his feet, begging for tutoring.

"Not like I wanted the shitty badge anyway. Now stop distracting me, brats."

There was a slight smile on Levi's lips as he returned to his notes. Percy fumbling for something to say was a satisfying background noise for his studying.

"Twenty points from each of your houses!" came a shout five minutes later.

Annie snorted as Armin replied absently, "You can't take point from other prefects."

"WHAT?!"

The blond looked up, giving Percy an unimpressed stare. "There are three prefects here," he stated, pointing to his chest. Marco waved with an embarrassed grin and Annie raised a challenging eyebrow as her only acknowledgement.

"Weasley, calm down," came Mikasa's voice from behind. When she arrived, no one knew, but she was still in her Quidditch gear. She strode over to their table, dropping an armful of small bags in top of all their books. "Snacks," she explained, cocking her head. "Though I thought I was getting those just for the three of us. Whatever, I'm not going back to the kitchen."

"Students can't go into the kitchens! Thirty points from Gryffindor!"

Mikasa stared at him impassively. "I'm a prefect, too. Seriously, Weasley, you should stop ogling Clearwater during the meetings and start paying attention to your surroundings a little." She paused, looking at her friends critically, than at Percy and back at her friends. "In fact, I think giving twenty points to each of you is in order. Splendid promotion of interhouse unity." Her voice was completely flat but Eren heard the sarcasm and amusement in his sister's announcement.

The year older boy gaped, opening and closing his mouth again in search of something to say. All of them started laughing.

"That's not what she said when she caught us snogging yesterday," Levi muttered quietly so only Eren could hear. The Gryffindor laughed harder.

* * *

The entirety of the fifth and seventh years was fuming when a week after their OWLs and NEWTs Harry Potter apparently single handedly killed a basilisk and saved the school, ensuring that all the other students would be excused from taking exams.

Life was so unfair.

Don't get them wrong, they were happy the danger was averted and no one suffered any lasting damage, but that didn't mean they couldn't be bitter over the fact he just couldn't go be a hero a week earlier.

Well, at least the party was worth it. For once the professors acted like they didn't see the fire whiskey going around (although they did intervene when one stray bottle somehow found its way from the seventh years to a group of third years) and some couples even found new appreciation for 3 AM make-outs.

At one point Armin personally went to thank Harry Potter for his heroism. Eren had a feeling the boy misinterpreted the older Ravenclaw's sentiment though. Who could blame him. There was no way he could know Armin had been taking bets on who would find the Chamber since it opened and Potter just made him huge profit since most people went the safe way and bet on Dumbledore, or the naive, fangirl way, betting on Lockhart. Who would have thought a second year would manage to do something generations failed at.

Apparently, Erwin Smith did, but that was beside the point.

And so, the next summer holidays began, leaving most of the group to communicate though muggle post and owls.

* * *

"PS: Hanji Zoe, is that a freaking HARPY that delivered your letter?! Put it back where you found it, it's goddarn CRITICALLY ENDANGERED not to mention DEADLY!"

* * *

 **A/N:** So these are the first two years! Yay!

I wanted to wait until it was finished to post it, but that will still be a while and I am currently suffering from self-doubt and wanted to hear what people thought... Judge me. (That said, I have no idea when the second half will be done.)

Anyway, hope it's not too terrible...


	2. Year Three

The travel back to Hogwarts after the break was... an unpleasant experience, to say the least. No one on the train expected for them to stop before arriving at their destination only to be faced with a herd of freaking dementors. Sure, Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban. He was dangerous. Big deal. But why exactly were there _dementors_ guarding _Hogwarts?_ None of them understood the idea.

They didn't understand and they sure as hell didn't like it either.

The group was spread out across several compartments and so they saw how the encounter impacted each and every one of them only after they all got out. They didn't talk to each other much even then, each trapped in their own dark pasts. They gravitated towards people who shared or at least understood their worst memories. While still on the train, Eren left Levi's side to huddle close with Mikasa, Isabel taking his place immediately. They noticed Annie passing their compartment in a hurry, white as a sheet, probably unwilling to let anyone see her losing composure.

The worst, however, was the scream they heard while the dementors were still there. No one could ever imagine _Ymir_ scream.

As they met up at the station after finally arriving, each of them took in how their friends looked. Isabel was still sobbing uncontrollably into Levi's shoulder while clutching Farlan's hand. Farlan and Levi themselves were stroking her hair and back, murmuring to her quietly, while looking somewhere half-way between sick and murderous. Eren and Mikasa were holding hands and standing close together, both identical looks of cold distance on their faces. Armin was leaning onto Mikasa, hugging himself, dried tears on his face. Erwin was nowhere to be seen, just as Mike and Nanaba. Sasha, Connie and Petra were still crying. Marco was clutching at the right half of his face, looking around in panic while a trembling Jean tried to calm him down with questionable results. Ymir was standing a bit back trying her best to look as aloof as ever, yet failing miserably with how twisted her impassiveness seemed and how she was clutching Krista's hand. Krista on the other hand had an expression that screamed to sod the fuck off unless they wanted to lose a limb or four. Finally everyone understood why she was in Slytherin. The rest wasn't that bad off, or maybe they just hid it better. However, they were still definitely of varying shades of white and green.

Only Hanji tried her best to be her cheerful, crazy self, running around and making jokes about anything that came to mind. She probably managed to fool a lot of people into thinking she wasn't affected at all. However, her act fell through as soon as she stopped running around and instead ran off to throw up into the nearest bush. Moblit shook his head and shakily went to scold and take care of her.

Armin leaned more of his weight onto Mikasa, whispering, "We've never talked about it but how many of us do you think can see the thestrals?"

Mikasa looked down at him, her jaw locked, not saying anything, while Eren looked around with a slightly crazed look in his eyes, raising an eyebrow. "I think a better question would be how many of us _can't_."

They didn't say a word after that.

* * *

Luckily the depression that fell over the people after that evening raised again quickly and by the breakfast the next day, everyone was back in gear.

Levi was dozing off on Eren's shoulder, having stayed up until early morning with Isabel, when he was rudely awakened by the stern voice of professor McGonagall who was handing out timetables. "Mr Ackerman, what do you think you are doing here?"

Levi blinked up at her as Eren bit his lip to try and keep a straight face and Mikasa across from him snickered. "Sleeping. Or trying to," Levi replied, closing his eyes again.

McGonagall rubbed her temples with a sigh. "Go back to your table."

"Why? We're spreading interhouse unity." The ultimate argument. Not a single person had been able to tell them anything after pulling this card.

"You can't get your time-table otherwise," the professor tried but Levi only snorted.

"Snape doesn't give a darn. He'll just give it to Farlan or something. By the way, will you give me Izzy's?"

The older woman took a sharp intake of breath. "And where exactly is miss Magnolia?" she asked flatly.

Levi cracked an eye open to give her a look before making himself comfortable again. "Where do you think? At the Slytherin table, sleeping on Farlan's lap. Girl was crying until freaking 4 in the morning."

Eren's hands curled into fists. He didn't know exactly what the dementors forced Izzy to remember but he had a general idea. No wonder both Farlan and Levi were so protective of her.

She aggressively tapped her wand handing them all their time tables, Levi indeed receiving Isabel's, humming his thanks. McGonagall's lips formed a thin line as she snapped, "Ten points from Slytherin and Gryffindor."

Eren cocked his head to the side, "There are no points yet; can you even go into the negative with points?"

They had a feeling McGonagall actively chose to pretend not to hear him.

* * *

"Armin, guess what? I made friends with a Grim!"

"You _what?!_ Hanji Zoe, it's barely the second day of school!"

* * *

Everyone was curious to see what their new DADA teacher would be like. Although, admittedly, the bar was low after Lockhart, they were pleasantly surprised. The guy was nice and a good enough teacher. Definitely a good guy, too, as proven as soon as their first lesson with him.

He came in to the classroom full of sixth year students, smiling brightly. "Hello, NEWT class. My name is Remus Lupin and I will be your Defence against the dark arts teacher this year. I have to say, I am very pleasantly surprised to see how many of you are here. After seeing how far behind the other classes are, I wondered how so many students managed to pass their OWLs."

Ymir snorted from the back, "That's the freak year for you. There were like three people who didn't get O or E in every single subject."

There was silence for a long time, the sixth years all holding their breaths as Lupin stared at Ymir thoughtfully. "Miss... uhm..."

"Just call me Ymir," supplied the girl.

"Right. Miss Ymir, shouldn't you be in your own class? I just saw you this morning with the seventh years," the kids were surprised he sounded more curious then angry and let out a relieved breath.

Ymir grinned cheekily, "Snape will survive without me for one period. Merlin knows he can't stand my guts anyway."

After a few seconds of tense silence the professor started laughing, and to everyone's shock and joy said, "Okay, point taken. However, why are you here and not skipping class by the lake or in bed like a normal person?"

Ymir smirked, throwing her arm around Krista's shoulders and relaxing, masking her threat with her trademark nonchalance, "You're new here; just making sure you keep your hands to yourself because me and Krista are getting married as soon as she's seventeen."

"Ymir, stop it," scolded Krista immediately, making it seem more like reflex then a conscious choice.

"Okay, then," Lupin looked like he wasn't sure whether Ymir was serious or not but decided not to question it. Just like everybody else. "I assure you I'm not into blonds." Everyone laughed and Lupin grinned back at them. "Well, you guys passed you OWLs so can I assume you aren't as far behind as miss Ymir here?"

They laughed harder at the offended look on Ymir's face.

* * *

Sasha Blouse wasn't sure how she ended up roped into tracking a Grim "for science" but she was pretty sure Grims didn't even _leave_ tracks. Except this one apparently _did_. She did the only sensible thing. She ran, leaving Hanji Zoe to fend for herself.

* * *

Levi and Eren were dead last leaving the Great Hall the night of Halloween. Or, well, they left the _Great Hall_ among the first people but didn't get far after, as they ended up in the cleaning closet just outside. They spent a long time in there, just talking quietly, cuddling and snogging heavily. They were in there so long that they wasted most of the oxygen in there and the noise from the feast went long silent.

Finally Levi decided he couldn't take the heat and recycled air anymore and called it quits, leaving Eren pouting and dissatisfied inside. Levi stretched, his back aching from the awkward position he's been in for the past minutes, and shot a look back at Eren.

"You coming or what?"

The Slytherin smirked at how fast Eren's face lit up and then laughed when the boy stood up too eagerly, banging his head on the closet ceiling and consequently falling face-first out of the cramped space.

However, he froze when he heard people coming closer. A big group of people.

The boyfriends exchanged glances before they ran to hide under the staircase to assess the situation. And they didn't fancy getting caught like this. That would be awkward for all people involved.

Much to their confusion they soon saw the entire Gryffindor house coming back to the Great Hall, most of them looking spooked, shooting nervous glances around them as if expecting a ghost to jump up at them any second. (Ha!)

Of course, their friends were within the group, too. Mikasa in particular took one look at the still open closet and, obviously having noticed her brother was missing, looked towards the most logical hiding place, waving the two boyfriends over.

Having been caught, they tried to look as inconspicious as possible as they jogged towards her.

"What's going on?" Eren asked in a whisper as soon as he was close enough.

"Apparently Sirius Black got into the castle, tried to get into our tower, ripped up the portrait of the Fat Lady and disappeared," Mikasa said in an almost bored tone.

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Well, the goddarn Dementors are obviously doing their job, aren't they."

Mikasa shrugged, gesturing for them to hurry up and move. The kids behind them looked awfully scared and pushy in getting back inside the Great Hall and Levi rolled his eyes. As if Black would be stupid enough to attack such a big group of people in a place where a bunch of adult wizards, an army of house elves and freaking _Dumbledore_ could get to him in a second. Sneaking inside a common room while no one was there was one thing. This would be completely different and not even 50 years in Azkaban could make an intelligent person crazy enough to do that unless they had no other choice. Levi was pretty darn sure nothing was going to happen now. Not to them anyway.

"Come on," Eren muttered as he grabbed the Slytherin's hand and tugged him forward. The three of them moved along the crowd and soon joined their small group of friends. They were huddled in a corner, talking and laughing quietly. Apparently none of the older students were worried much, the anxiety obviously limited to the first years, second years and the random third year.

As soon as they were close enough, the eyes of the group zeroed in on them, blinking a few times before sly grins spread across their faces. Of course, it was Reiner who spoke up first. "Oh, Eren. We were wondering where you disappeared to. Good to see you're still healthy." He laughed teasingly as Eren, Levi and Mikasa gave him a disgusted look.

They just settled into a better topic than any of their sex-lives, when the door opened again and the Gryffindor's were joined by the other three confused and disgruntled houses.

As soon as the last student entered, the door slammed shut again and Professors McGonagall and Flitwick went around locking all the small doors around the Hall, while professor Dumbledore spoke to the students, "The teachers and I need to conduct a thorough search of the castle. I'm afraid that, for your own safety, you will have to spend the night here. I want the prefects to stand guard over the entrances to the Hall and I am leaving the Head Boy and Girl in charge. Any disturbance should be reported to me immediately. Send word with one of the ghosts."

Eren heard his sister groan next to him and smirked. Not for the first time he thanked Merlin he wasn't a prefect.

Dumbledore was about to leave the Hall when he turned around, and said, "Oh yes, you'll be needing..." He waved his wand twice lazily and the tables flew to line up at the walls, almost decapitating several students on the way, Ymir being among them to everyone's amusement. She was pretty far away from the Gryffindors but they heard her curse all the way from there until Krista slapped a hand over her mouth. Jean snickered as the others smirked.

As soon as the tables were out of the way, sleeping bags appeared in their place and the headmaster wished them good night.

The room immediately exploded in questions and confused muttering since no one but the Gryffindors knew what was going on. The group of Gryffindor sixth years plus Levi was soon joined by the others, all of them asking for explanation.

Armin huffed upon hearing the situation they were in, grumpily mumbling to himself, "And he couldn't have broken in fifteen minutes earlier? I literally just climbed up all the darn stairs into the tower when we were told to go back down!"

His fellow Ravenclaws complained enthusiastically in agreement, the Slytherins and Gryffindors nodding sympathetically as they were in a similar position as them. Only the Hufflepuffs exchanged smug looks. They were always happy about the location of their Common room, I mean, no stairs, close to the Great Hall and closer to the _kitchen_ , and hearing their friends complain always made them feel even smugger about it.

They talked comfortably for a few minutes among themselves, creating purposefully crazy theories about how Black got inside the castle, when they were rudely interrupted by red-headed shadow appearing behind them.

"Didn't you hear professor Dumbledore?" Percy Weasley hissed in his pompous, head-boy tone, glaring at them. "The prefects are to guard the Hall."

" _Now_ he remembers who the prefects are..." Mikasa muttered in an irritated tone and the others laughed.

The Head Boy ranted at them for a few minutes, not that anyone listened to him, before resolutely ordering them to go to sleep and for the prefects to follow him. Mikasa and Annie made an identical irritated face at him and those who noticed struggled not to laugh again.

When the prefects and, most importantly, Weasley, were out of earshot, Levi wondered flatly, "Erwin, remind me why aren't you the Head Boy again? I think if the guy talked any longer, I'd shove the badge up his arse where it obviously belongs." Eren buried his face in Levi's hair to muffle his snort and Levi wondered why Eren found him so funny. His boyfriend was so weird. The Slytherin loved him for it.

Erwin chuckled, answering in a knowing, amused tone, "Because I didn't find it necessary to become one and I refuse to bootlick for no reason."

"Right."

Levi nodded in understanding while Eren made a face, whispering so only Levi heard, "Maybe it's a good thing it's Weasley." That earned him an elbow to the ribs.

Connie interrupted with a loud groan, stretching. "Maybe we should grab a sleeping bag and at least pretend to go to sleep? Weasley's starting to look like he's going to literally blow up if we don't move."

"I want the purple one!" Hanji called loudly which earned her several disbelieving stares.

"Hanji... they're all purple?" Petra tried kindly.

The Ravenclaw pouted, slowly lowering her hand. "I know. That was a joke. You guys are no fun."

They all stared at her for a few more moments before collectively deciding to ignore her, turning around to figure out their sleeping arrangements.

"Ugh, why does it have to be purple..." they heard Farlan mutter to which Isabel giggled.

Ymir smirked. "Careful there; you're ruining your cool guy image."

"Go to hell, Ymir; I am allowed to hate purple. Just like you're allowed to hate dicks."

Ymir's smirk widened as she agreed, "Touché."

Levi rolled his eyes, grabbing the nearest bag and wiggling into it. He struggled to make himself comfortable when suddenly the bag was opened again and Eren shoved his big body next to him. Levi had trouble to comprehend what was going on for a second, but then he hit his boyfriend over the head. Hard. "What the fuck are you doing, brat? Go get your own bag." He shoved at the taller Gryffindor, successfully getting him back out, and zipped his sleeping bag again.

"But Levi~ I wanna cuddle," the brunet whined, a pout on his lips.

"Too bad," Levi deadpanned, turning his back towards him.

"Leeeeviiii!"

"Shut it, Jaeger," came a growl from Jean and everyone suppressed a groan as Eren turned to face him, a challenging gleam in his eyes.

"What, Horseface; jealous you can't stargaze with Marco? Not my fault you're too stupid to be a prefect like your boyfriend."

"What did you say, you suicidal-"

"Okay!" called Reiner loudly, dragging a sleeping bag across from them. "How about a round of Exploding Snap instead?"

The two boys glared at their fellow Gryffindor for a while before resigning to a truce, swearing to beat the other in the game. Several people from their group gathered around Reiner as he dealt the cards while the others sat further away to watch.

Just as everyone picked up their cards, ready to win, there came a shout of, "The lights are going out now! I want everyone in their sleeping bags and no more talking!"

"What? Why?! It's like eight! No no, wait-" Reiner's desperate call got interrupted by the darkness that engulfed the Great hall. No one moved for several long seconds before all of them moved at once, scrambling away frantically and blindly, trying to get as far away from the cards as they could.

A series of explosions echoed around the dark hall immediately after.

* * *

"Okay, so it's not a Grim. And not a dog. I think it's an animagus. No, wait, it's okay, it's friends with that half-kneazel; it's gotta be a good human!"

"Hanji Zoe, really..."

* * *

The second half of the year welcomed the sixth years with apparition classes. They were, of course, more than excited to finally learn how to, even with the money they had to pay and the free time they were forced to sacrifice for it.

The ministry guy who was to teach them seemed okay enough, even if a little annoying. But his explanations were easy enough to understand and that was enough for most of them.

But of course, the classes didn't go as fun as easy as they imagined. For most of the first lecture most of the students kept spinning in place uselessly, laughing at each other only to be laughed at in turn. Of course, that lasted only until the instructor noticed two individuals who weren't exactly doing what they were supposed to.

Levi and Ymir were leaning against the far wall, watching the others and laughing together, especially at Jean and Eren, who made it into some twisted competition to see who could spin more aggressively instead of focusing properly and Hanji, who took it upon herself to strike a new pose every time, each one more ridiculous than the last one.

The old man apparated in front of them, glowering. "Care to explain why aren't you participating in class?"

Ymir smirked lazily. "I'm not in this class, you gave me my license last year. I'm just here to laugh at them."

Levi nodded as if that made perfect sense, before the instructor addressed him. "And _you_?"

Levi shrugged, giving the man a bored look. "I'm just pretty sure I can do it and don't need to bother."

The class was completely silent at this display of confidence and the instructor raised an eyebrow. "Try it then," he said challengingly. "Go to your circle and apparete to the other one."

"That's boring," Levi muttered before he lazily, yet elegantly spun in place and disappeared with a _pop_.

Only Hanji's teasing call of "Show off," could be heard after that. Eren grinned proudly because that was _his boyfriend_ , while Farlan rolled his eyes. Everyone else looked around the Great Hall in search of the raven Slytherin. Some started to look worried he accidentally appareted himself somewhere completely different or maybe splinched into some tiny pieces. It was only a minute of searching later, when an amused voice came from the head of the room, "Over here."

Everyone's head snapped in that direction and saw Levi sitting on top of the teacher's table, looking as expressionless as ever, only the ones who knew him best saw the glee in his eyes.

The instructor was fuming. He scolded Levi for twenty minutes about how dangerous his actions were and demanding he tell him where he –illegally – learned to apparete, refusing to believe that was Levi's first time ever trying.

But Levi's confidence and annoyance with the questioning forced him to admit he was dealing with an exceptionally talented magician. He let him go finally, completely forgetting he should be dealing with one more "student". Levi returned to Ymir's side where she was now making herself comfortable sitting on the floor, before the nearest students flocked around him, firing questions and words of praise. Levi waved them off, or more like chased them away with his glare and sat down next to the year older student.

After receiving a wink from his boyfriend, naturally.

He hoped no one noticed his blush. Because he was _not_ blushing.

"You're a dirty liar," Ymir sang quietly with a smirk.

"At least I'm darn good at it," Levi shot back smugly. No one had to know he forced Erwin to teach him last summer – at least not those who didn't already figure it out.

Ymir and Levi continued to attend the classes with no intention of doing anything in them and the instructor learned to ignore them. Later Ymir at least started bringing her notes for NEWTs with her and stopped making a racket with her commentary. Although, honestly, everyone else was more distracted by seeing _Ymir_ _study_ than they'd be by her comments.

As the classes progressed, everyone was getting better and better at it. By the time it was time for them to take the tests, the splinching incidents were on bare minimum. Eren and Jean soon understood that the best way to get on the other's nerves was to master the art sooner, and started taking the classes seriously. Not surprisingly, it was Eren who won, although Jean called for disqualification on the grounds of him cheating, since he was getting extra help from Levi. The only reason it didn't end in bloodshed was Marco's swift action of dragging Jean as far away from Eren as the Hall permitted.

* * *

Levi Ackerman could only face-palm as Hanji Zoe walked up to Remus Lupin with a happy smile, asking if he would take her to his "werewolf pack" next summer. (Levi promptly left the classroom when he noticed the professor looked like he was going to faint any moment.)

* * *

The beginning of May welcomed most of the sixth years with brand new apparition licences. The still-underage-squad led by Marco happily congratulated everyone who passed, consoled the few who failed and politely declined all assurances that they'll do even better than them come summer. Reiner accompanied that with a laugh, stating that he had too much muscle mass that wouldn't let him apparate properly. Isabel, Sasha and Connie congratulated everyone with identical jealous pouts.

In the end, the only ones who failed the test were Auruo, Krista, Armin the nervous wreck, and, funnily enough, Farlan. The usually confident Slytherin somehow managed to not even apparate anywhere. He looked like he was ready to die in shame any moment for the next week, especially since everyone who was present at the time started laughing every time they remembered him spinning in place in confused panic.

* * *

The last weekend at Hogsmead was spent with the group falling apart before they even left the castle. Erwin and Ymir were staying behind, using every opportunity to study, although it was more than probable Ymir only stayed because Krista forced her to. Farlan, still drowning in shame, refused to show his face unless necessary since his epic failure during the apparition test. Mikasa, exhausted from last minute Quidditch practices, didn't even show up for breakfast and according to Petra she was still asleep when they were leaving. Hanji was using the opportunity of the almost empty castle to do whatever her crazy brain came up with this time, Moblit dutifully-slash-tiredly following. Armin and Annie already announced they wanted to go alone.

The group – or what was left of it – fell apart even further as soon as they arrived in the village. Sasha and Connie immediately ran towards Honeydukes, Connie probably motivated more by the need to hold his girlfriend back than anything. Mike and Nanaba headed straight to Madame Puddifoot's. No one understood why the two liked the shop so much, not even Levi. Levi loved tea beyond anything but the shop disgusted him only seeing it from the outside. Petra and Isabel decided to use the opportunity to go clothes shopping. No one bothered to follow them.

The remaining guys looked at each other before they shrugged and Reiner decided to lead the way towards the Zonko's. Levi hated that shop with a passion greater than he felt for Madame Puddifoot's. He grabbed Eren's hand and dragged him away, deciding to abandon the others and rather enjoy a quiet walk with his boyfriend.

Eren and Levi walked around the village for a long time, just holding hands and talking only occasionally. They even managed to get into parts they've never been to before, away from the noise of the High Street. When they wandered into the grassy area behind the village and realized how muddy it was, Levi was immensely happy he was off age and allowed to do magic. He immediately casted a charm to protect their shoes and clothes, sighing happily.

"Clean freak," Eren laughed fondly and Levi shoved an elbow into his side.

"Excuse me for not wanting to get my things fucking dirty beyond salvation."

"I think it's cute, you don't have to be so defensive."

"Shut up or I'll make you climb the mountain."

Eren frowned, throwing a critical look at the mountain towering in front of them. "I could just apparate up there, you know?"

"You think I would let you?" Levi said flatly, challengingly.

Eren weighed his options for a second, deciding he didn't want to tempt Levi into trying to prove him wrong. So he only shook his head, snaking a hand around Levi's waist, and leaned down to lightly kiss his temple. "Sorry, love, I won't tease you anymore."

"You darn better," Levi huffed and Eren secretly smiled at the sight.

"Three broomsticks?"

Levi nodded and they headed slowly back in silence, taking the long road through the back alleys and around the Shrieking Shack. To their slight disappointment, as they neared the haunted house, they heard some voices. They were only talking at first but then there was a suspicious noise followed by loud laughter. Eren felt Levi sag against him slightly. They turned the corner and the road in front of the Shack came into view, revealing to the two what was going on.

Levi instantly wished he didn't have to see that. The Malfoy kid and his two goons were dripping in mud and the older boy shuddered in disgust, quickly pulling out his wand and enforcing the protective spell on both him and Eren. Luckily, before they even got close, a head appeared out of nowhere and the three ran away screaming, taking the threat of getting dirty with them and Eren sighed in relief. Dirty Levi wasn't something he wanted to end their date with.

They watched as the until-then-unnoticed ginger-haired boy talked frantically to the air – or more like his invisible friend, who was probably in Hogsmead without authorisation – before he ran off as well.

The two boyfriends didn't comment until a few seconds passed and Levi let out a disgusted huff of "Kids."

The Gryffindor laughed at that, squeezing Levi's hand tighter. "We're, like, three years older than them."

"Your point?"

"We're also kids."

"Well, I never fucking played with dirt."

"I'm sure," Eren snorted and Levi's eyes narrowed.

"Eren, the mountain is _still_ there," he said offhandedly and the other could only gulp loudly.

* * *

"Miss Zoe, you do realize your grade depends on how fast you get through the obstacle course, right?"

"But, Professor, how can I just curse and ignore these babies, they're just lonely! They just need some compa- Oops, that was close, little guy! One second faster and you'd have me! Aww, you're so cute!"

Remus Lupin could only look on helplessly as Hanji Zoe laughed maniacally while praising yet another vicious creature.

* * *

At the end-of-the-year feast, as Eren, Levi, Mikasa and Annie sat with Armin at the Ravenclaw table, none of them could say they were surprised Gryffindor had won the House cup. The only surprise came with the fact that this year it was a fair victory, with none of the last minute dubious point appointing.

Most people were actually more concerned over Black getting away; wild theories were going around over how he managed to escape again but critically speaking, not a single one seemed plausible.

Eren sighed as he overheard some first years speculating that maybe he could walk through walls and turn to Armin. "Twenty galleons that Potter had something to do with it."

Armin didn't even look up from his meal as he replied, "Very probable. I'd give you 1.5."

"Come on, I'm your best friend, can't you give me a better rate?" Eren whined while both Mikasa and Levi rolled their eyes.

Armin looked Eren in the eyes impassively, telling him flatly, "1.5 _is_ the better rate. If I were keeping it real, I'd give you about 1.2," he paused as Eren scowled before continuing. "But it doesn't matter; I refuse to accept bets where it's impossible to confirm results."

Eren huffed unhappily as the others laughed at him.

* * *

 **A/N:** I wanted to publish it only when I had the second part written completely but I've had it in this state for a long time now, and I'm stuck. Like, I know exactly what I want to write next, the fourth year is what started this fic after all, I just don't know how to connect the last scene I have with the next one. So I decided to give you what I have in the meantime while I figure it out...


	3. Year Four

**A/N:** When would I write if it weren't for exams and deadlines?

I have spent so much time on the Harry Potter wiki this weekend... Did you know Mrs Figg was actually breeding kneazles/part-kneazles for a living?

* * *

The summer before their last year was exceptionally boring. The only exciting event was when Krista grabbed the opportunity of her family leaving for the Quidditch World Cup Final to run away with Ymir. Apparently, the money to buy an apartment in London was the only "gift" Krista's family had ever given her. That, and her new name.

Everyone was more than confused when they received the invitation for the "Funeral of Historia Reiss and the Birth of Krista Lenz" but after Krista got drunk enough off Firewhiskey to drop all her acts, they finally understood why she never talked about her family.

Apparently, she was an illegitimate child of the Reiss family, the biggest wizarding mafia organization in Britain, who was taken in by her father as the only heir after most of the family had been murdered. However, her father nor anyone else cared about her; she was only there as a figurehead and the last resort. As the family enemies could take advantage of her existence, she was stripped of her name, Historia Reiss, and given a new name she was to be known as. That was Krista Lenz.

Since her real name had always been connected to awful memories, loneliness and abuse while her fake alias was what reminded her of all her good memories, her friends, and girlfriend, when she decided to run away and cut all ties with her family, she also decided to leave her father's name behind and legally changed her name to Krista Lenz.

And thus, the Funeral and Birth of two names.

Ymir grumbled when she talked about it. It seemed she was against the idea of abandoning your name but Krista was dead set on going through with it. In the end even Ymir had to admit she seemed much happier now, with the burden that was her name gone.

"So what happened to getting married as soon as you're both seventeen?" Eren asked curiously, his chin resting on Levi's shoulder.

Ymir shrugged, her expression turning sour as she swirled her drink. "Well, we realized it would be more trouble than it would be fucking worth," she said bitterly. "Even if we went to Denmark how we wanted, it wouldn't be recognized here anyway so what's the point?"

There was a moment of sad silence. Everyone felt sorry for them, especially since Ymir looked like finally something was able to affect her and no one knew what to say or how to react. It only lasted a few seconds, however, before Ymir laughed like usual and threw herself on Krista. "Doesn't matter, I will marry her anyway, no matter how long I have to wait."

Grins spread on everyone's faces as they watched Krista reprimand her girlfriend as usual. It seemed like nothing was really different after all, even though so much changed for the girls themselves.

They drank the night away in blissful ignorance of the panic happening in Dartmoor right then.

* * *

"Fuck this weather," Levi complained as soon as he slipped inside the Entrance hall at Hogwarts.

"What are you saying, it's awesome! I wish I could go across the Lake with the first years!" Hanji cried in excitement.

"And you aren't even wet," Eren added with a pout. Both him and Hanji along with Isabel were wet head to toe as they made it their mission to jump into every single puddle they met on the short walk from the train to the carriage, and then from the carriage to the castle.

Levi sneered at them with disgust, warning them not to come close to him until they dried of, before going to dispel the waterproof charms he had in place all over himself. He shot Hanji a warning glare when he noticed she was grinning and holding her breath in anticipation, but she only grinned wider. He was so focused on the mad girl he didn't notice Eren biting his lip to keep himself from laughing, nor how Armin's eyes widened and fixed somewhere above his head.

And so, the second his protections fell away, he felt something hit his head, and suddenly, he was drenched. The Slytherin stood there in shock as Eren, Hanji, and Isabel rolled around in laughter, Armin backed slowly away and the others were looking around for the source of commotion and only blinking in confusion when they saw the state Levi was in.

"Nice one, Peeves."

Levi spun around impossibly fast just in time to witness Mikasa high-fiving the cackling poltergeist, before it bowed and ran, knowing from hard-earned experience it was a bad idea to linger in place after pranking the grumpy, short seventeen year old.

Levi could only close his eyes, shoot a few choice curses, wave his wand to dry himself off, and storm away, not sparing a single glance at any one of the traitors he had left behind.

Eren swore he'd apologize before the night came to an end but for now he had to savour the look on Levi's face.

* * *

Sitting at the Gryffindor table Eren tuned out the Sorting hat in favour of staring towards the other end of the hall at his long-time boyfriend, daydreaming – and occasionally chuckling at the memory of a few minutes ago. He made a mental note to thank Peeves when he next saw him. Somehow, Levi seemed to sense his amusement. Though actively ignoring the brunet for the most part, he sent a glare his way every time a new wave of laughter was about to erupt out of Eren's mouth.

Eren was sure it was the love connecting them.

Levi knew it was the way Eren flailed every time when he tried to muffle himself that drew the attention of half the hall.

The Slytherin rolled his eyes at Eren after his latest outburst, which also earned the boy an exasperated look from Mikasa, and instead decided to finally focus on what the headmaster was saying. He heard something about quidditch and judging by the scandalized faces people were making, he missed something important. Not that he cared.

But then he jerked as the sharp sound of thunder suddenly rang through the hall, much louder than the ones before. Most of the people simultaneously turned towards the main entrance door, which was now wide open, with some guy just standing there for some reason, instead of slipping in carefully like a normal person who's arriving late and in the middle of someone's speech. Nobody dared to say anything, however, as the guy looked particularly creepy. Even some of the teachers looked taken off guard.

Everyone watched carefully as the mysterious man walked – limped – towards the head of the hall and talked to Dumbledore for a minute, wary of what was to come. When Dumbledore announced this was to be their new DADA teacher, Levi felt his stomach drop. Something told him this guy was bad news, no matter what Dumbledore or the students, who suddenly seemed to marvel over the name that was dropped – Moody or something that Levi had never heard of – said. And it seemed he wasn't alone either as he noticed several people shudder. Granted, it was mostly in disgust over his looks.

Even while Levi continued to listen to Dumbledore, he couldn't help his street-trained instincts and watched the new teacher carefully, taking in his body language and behaviour, which seemed to suggest a mindset similar to Levi's, only pushed to the extreme. Careful, watchful, paranoid. Looked like he didn't trust anyone which only strengthened Levi's conviction he couldn't trust him in turn. He also looked like an ends-justify-the-means kind of guy. Not a good trait for a teacher if you asked Levi.

When the words "the Triwizard Tournament" fell from Dumbledore's lips, Levi could tell he was missing something again. Dumbledore had that stupid, smug look on his face while a lot of students stared at him with jaws on the floor and a shout of "You're joking!" came from the direction of the Gryffindor table. Levi had no idea what that was, nor did he particularly care, but he couldn't help but notice Eren grinning from ear to ear or Hanji bouncing in her seat excitedly and giving him suspicious looks all the way up until the students were dismissed.

As soon as she could, Hanji bolted up from her seat and ran straight for Levi, who braced mentally for the onslaught. "Levi! _Please_ tell me you're going to participate!"

Levi tried his best to give her the most deadpan look he could while Farlan barked a laugh next to him. Hanji wasn't deterred, though, her eyes almost sparkling. "Levi, you've got to! If you don't sign up, _I_ will sign you up! And you know Eren is going to sign up, are you going to let him win?"

Levi narrowed his eyes at her before abruptly standing up. "Sign me up and I'll fucking slaughter you, Foureyes. And _you,_ " Levi scowled, his eyes darting towards the red head which popped up behind Hanji. "Don't even _think_ about it."

Isabel pouted, "But Big Bro-"

"No Izzy. Over my dead body," Farlan said before Levi could so much as open his mouth.

"But-"

"No," Levi said sharply, leaving no space for discussion.

"Fine!" Isabel snapped, throwing her arms up. She almost ran into Eren as she abruptly turned around before stomping off in a huff, obviously determined not to talk to either of them anytime soon. The other Gryffindor quickly side-stepped her and blinked a few times in confusion, turning questioningly at the others. He had clearly missed the beginning of the short-lived argument.

"What was that about?"

Levi only shook his head as Farlan sighed. Only Hanji grinned at Eren, returning to the issue at hand. "Eren, help me convince Levi to sign up for the Triwizard Tournament!"

Eren frowned and quickly glanced at Levi before cocking his head at Hanji, starting slowly, "Hanji, you know he won't do it. It's pointless to try and convince him."

"But he's the best, he could totally win," Hanji whined, trying her puppy eyes next, but Eren shook his head.

"You're right but there's really no point to it. Not to mention he'd be at the centre of attention for a year at least," he pointed out and Hanji seemed to deflate a bit.

Levi on the other hand could only smirk. He didn't even have to bother arguing with Hanji anymore, if Eren could do it for him. He almost forgave him for laughing earlier. Almost.

Hanji wasn't one to give up easily, however, trying again. "But if you wanted to sign up yourself..." She didn't finish her sentence, mistakenly thinking Eren would connect the dots.

Eren didn't, instead staring at her dumbly, not comprehending, until Levi gave up, gesturing towards his so-called best friend. "She thinks that if you signed up, I'd have no choice but to sign up, too, so you didn't win. No idea where she got the idea I'd bother saving your sorry ass if it really _is_ that stupid."

"If I didn't know you're joking," Eren said, scowling at his boyfriend, "I'd feel really hurt right now, Sun and stars of my sky."

Farlan did a double take as Hanji slapped a hand over he mouth to stop herself from laughing as Levi glared daggers at his boyfriend. Over the holidays, Eren had developed the unfortunate habit of calling Levi in increasingly ridiculous pet names when trying to get a point across – or when trying to be generally annoying.

The Slytherin closed his eyes and started counting to ten in his mind to calm down, right as Hanji burst into uncontrollable giggles, gasping for breath and asking Eren to say it again. Levi turned around and walked away.

* * *

It was only with a heavy heart that Hagrid gave Hanji Zoe her first detention of the year after she had made a bunch of first years cry by luring them towards the little artificial pond where they kept the Kappas to "observe Kappa's natural hunting behaviour".

* * *

Wednesday came and Isabel still refused to talk to either Levi or Farlan, instead opting to hang out with Petra, Auruo, Erd and Gunther. While being careful to stay in plain sight of the two Slytherins who were at the receiving end of her wrath. Levi could only smile every time he caught her looking to check if they were watching. Sometimes he had to wonder how she could act like a five year old while being only months younger than himself. But than he looked at Eren and thought that maybe it was him who was acting too old for his age.

Levi was eating his lunch, only half-listening to Eren rattle on about some assignment he had for Care of Magical Creatures, when a loud group of fifth years walked by, talking about how awesome Moody's class was. Levi frowned looking up to assess the new teacher, breaking Eren from his wondering if Izzy would let him try to add alcohol or at least sugar into the water atop the head of the Kappa they were caring for to see what would happen, and making him look at his boyfriend curiously.

"You really don't like him, do you," he said, merely stating a fact instead of posing it as a question.

Levi shrugged in response. "He just... reminds me of uncle Kenny in the worst way. I'm not really a good judge of character though. Erwin is the one for that."

Eren frowned, putting a hand on Levi's knee. "Well Erwin's not here. But I trust your judgment, too, you know? Besides, you heard what happened on Monday with Malfoy, right? Didn't sound like a sane teacher to me, no matter how out of line the kid was."

"I guess we'll know by the end of the day, huh?" Levi gave a wry smile as he pushed away his plate, losing his appetite upon remembering how the beloved DADA teacher transfigured a student into a bloody ferret, bouncing him up and down several feet into the air, no less. That really did sound like something Kenny would do if he could. And... Levi did like to say pain was the best way of discipline but not like fucking this.

Eren gently squeezed his knee, leaving his hand there before going back to his kappa musings while Levi casually slipped his hand under the table to grip Eren's. The Gryffindor didn't comment.

* * *

By the end of their first DADA class, Levi wasn't the only one who was wary of Moody. After they finally got out of the classroom the whole group shared a look before collectively heading towards the kitchens to let the elves feed them something sweet and/or hot. The elves were delighted to have someone to fret over and the group was just relieved to be somewhere warm and private.

The silence was heavy for a long while, none of them eager to address what Moody had been doing just minutes earlier. Isabel sat curled up into Farlan, forgetting she was actually angry at him, eating a cookie after cookie. Levi was clutching a cup of tea in his hands so hard the other were worried it might break. Sasha wasn't eating. Hanji wasn't talking.

Finally, Mikasa, face buried in her scarf, one hand holding it up, the other playing with the lose end of it, muttered, voice deceivingly calm, "If he tries that again, I'll curse _him._ "

Armin chuckled hysterically, while the other's nodded their consent in varying degrees of hesitation.

"Seriously, what's his problem?" The spell broken, Farlan burst out. "It's one thing to teach us about curses, how to defend from them and shit; completely another to show us how the bloody _Unforgivables_ are done!"

"On _us_ ," added Krista with voice full of disgust. "Yeah, sure, it's great to know how it feels, woo-hoo, but how the fuck will that help us? Not to mention I've seen more then enough of that bullshit before I learned how to write. I don't need to see it used on my _friends_ ," she spat venomously. "And you know what's the best part? You can't make an Unforgivable work unless you _really_ want it to."

Only Krista's crazed giggle interrupted the heavy silence following her words.

"At least he didn't try _cruciatus_ on us?" Sasha piped up with fake laughter in her voice. Connie winced at the sound leaning over to nuzzle his girlfriends hair in assurance.

Jean snorted, leaning over the table with an expression of ease, like it didn't affect him at all, which would probably seem genuine to anyone who didn't know him well. "Somehow, I wouldn't be surprised if next time he had us pair up and practice the curse on each other."

Sasha, Connie and Armin paled in unison, as Marco shot up from his slumped position to give Jean a scolding glare. "Don't say that, Jean. Not even as a joke!"

"It wasn't meant to be a joke," Jean countered, suddenly sounding very serious.

The suffocating silence settled back then, as no one could see a single sign in their new teacher's behaviour that would suggest Jean wasn't right. Not a single seventh year from their group was looking forward to DADA this year and they just couldn't comprehend the rest of the school's fascination with Mad-Eye Moody.

* * *

"Hanji Zoe get off that filthy goddarn hippogriff or so help me..."

"You're just jealous because she doesn't like you, Levi!"

* * *

When a week before Halloween a notice about the delegations from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons appeared under the marble staircase in the Entrance Hall, Eren and Levi exchanged glances.

"You think anyone's gonna be checking the attendance?" Levi asked.

Eren bit down on his lower lip. "I doubt it. Erwin's not here to drag us there anymore either."

Levi nodded, as the decision had been made. He was about to grab Eren's hand and lead him away from the claustrophobic crowd when somebody collided with him, nearly knocking him over. He was about to hex whoever that was but an all to familiar screech of his name too close to his ear for comfort stopped him. As much as he hated Hanji in that moment, he'd be the one who'd have to take care of her and listen to her whine about it later. Not to mention the guilt.

"Get _off_ me," he growled instead, before quickly drawing his wand and casting a silencing charm. "And stop screaming into my bloody ear you Banshee." He took great pleasure in watching her lips move while no sound came out. And an even greater pleasure when she stopped, pouted, and shot him an accusing glare.

The Slytherin was tempted to leave her like that but apparently, others didn't share his sentiment. As soon as Eren stopped laughing, he pulled out his own wand at dispelled the charm, at which Hanji took a sharp, deep, overdramatized breath, as if Levi put her under suffocation hex instead of a simple silencing charm. Levi rolled his eyes as Eren laughed at her attics, before he turned around towards a less over-populated area, leaving the two to scramble after him, though soon he left them far behind, his smaller body allowing him to navigate between the people much more easily than the other two. Not that he'd ever admit to it.

However, Hanji soon caught up to him. "Levi, Levi! Guess what? I'm I mother now! Will you and Eren be the godparents of my child?!"

Levi stared at her expressionlessly for a moment, while Eren raised his eyebrows. Hanji didn't seem to notice how her excited announcement made the innocent passer-by's do a double take.

"What kind of child are we talking about here?" the Gryffindor asked carefully.

"My Jarvey gave birth!" Hanji exclaimed.

"Oh thank fuck, I was worried it was some Tebo or something," Levi sighed, relieved.

Hanji cocked her head to the side, staring him down critically, "Where would I find a Tebo in Scotland? They live in Africa."

"I don't know, where did you dig up a Jarvey?"

"Nevermind that," she sang and the boys eyed her suspiciously. "Anyway, will you be the godparents?"

* * *

"Hanji Zoe, care to explain why the _fuck_ is this fucking Jarvey named 'Levi Jr'?"

"Have you heard yourself talk?"

"Stop fucking laughing, Eren."

* * *

Farlan raised an eyebrow when Levi joined him on the evening of October 30th, dutifully lining up with the other students to welcome the delegations of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, a scowl firmly on his face. "Weren't you skipping?"

Levi's scowl only deepened as he crossed his arms. "Flitwick caught us."

Farlan smirked as Krista piped up in a kind tone, "At least you won't miss out."

Levi narrowed his eyes at her, "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were making fun of me."

"Maybe I am, what do you know?" her smile was blinding and both Levi and Farlan felt mildly disturbed.

"I'm seriously starting to think you're the scarier one between you and Ymir," Farlan muttered and Krista genuinely laughed.

"You're only realizing that now?" Annie asked, looking over from her conversation with Sasha. "She honestly scares me more than Ymir ever could. More than either of you ever could."

"Gee, thank you so much," Farlan noted bitterly and Annie smirked.

"You're welcome."

Soon after that, the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang people arrived and it was as anti-climatic as it could be. At least the house elves were outdoing themselves with the food.

The only eventful part of the evening was when one of the Beauxbatons girls went strutting about, making a point to stop by each house's table during the feast, and always rising a commotion as all (or most of) the guys were left staring and slobbering after her.

It was especially interresting when she chose to come over to the Slytherin table.

"Excuse me, are you wanting ze poulet?"

Levi blinked. "The _what_?"

"Chicken, Levi," answered Annie with undeniable amusement.

"No, we are not wanting the _chicken_. Go ahead," he said, bored.

"Can you help me bring it to our table? It'z too 'eavy."

Levi's eyebrows shot up. She hadn't even tried to lift the plate. "Aren't you a bloody witch? Do it yourself."

"Excuse me? Are zere no gentlemen 'ere on top of it being so cold?" the girl exclaimed, clearly offended. And clearly used to people doing whatever she told them to.

Levi was shocked to notice Farlan straighten up opposite of him. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he stared at the girl. He looked like he was about to say something, but before he could someone else did. "Go away, Veela. There's nobody here for you." Krista's voice was colder than either of them have ever heard it.

A beat of silence passed before the girl, with cheeks slightly pinkish now, turned on her heel and stormed off.

All eyes turned towards Krista, even Farlan who now looked half ashamed and half like he was just slapped awake.

"What?" Krista barked in slight annoyance after a moment, apparently thrown off balance by the appearance of the girl, still not back to her kind, sweet self.

"How did you know she was a Veela?" Annie asked in wonder.

Krista smiled bitterly, "My cousin was a part-Veela. I'd been seeing their magic since I was a little kid." Nobody commented on her use of past tense, still remembering well all the bits and pieces Krista's told them about her family.

"Okay, so why was Levi not affected? I felt like I was under _imperius_ for a second there."

Krista allowed herself a small smirk. "It just means he's gay as fuck."

"Like you?" Levi shot back at her and Krista's grin widened.

* * *

"Do you think the kids from Durmstrang have brought any high-quality vodka with them?"

"No, Hanji, I'm not helping you sneak onto their ship."

* * *

When Eren came down for breakfast the next day, he was surprised to see Armin sitting in a corner of the Entrance Hall in a comfortable-looking loveseat that definitely wasn't there the evening before, Annie leaning onto him and reading a book, a small coffee table with a steaming pot next to them. The blond had a notebook and a pen in his hands and seemed intent to keep staring at the Goblet of Fire until it started talking to him or something.

After his initial pause, Eren walked over to the pair, carefully observing them. Armin didn't seem to notice him, but Annie at least nodded to him before returning to her book.

"Uhm, Armin, are you okay?"

"Yep," the Ravenclaw answered, still not looking at him. "Just taking notes on who's participating in this."

Eren frowned upon noticing the dark circles under his best friend's eyes. "How long have you been sitting here?"

"I don't know. A few hours? I shouldn't have even left, honestly. I'm pretty sure I've missed some people during the night."

"According to the elves, he's been here since four in the morning," Annie informed him, slightly disapproving tilt to her tone.

"Armin, seriously?" Eren scolded, crossing his arms.

Armin just shrugged. "Coffee?"

Eren shook his head at the other, still in disbelief. "If you keep staring at it, you'll burn your retinas. And go crazy. I'm pretty sure you won't miss anyone just because you're not staring into the flames."

"False," Armin shook his head. "There have already been three instances of people throwing their name inside under a concealment charm."

"And I keep telling you," Annie stressed, sounding like this was at least the fifth time she was telling him. "That if they are too scared to be seen, then they have no chance of being actually chosen. You've got to be a big, irritating show off to do this."

"She has a point, you know." Mikasa said, emerging from the Great hall with a plate full of food and a glass of juice, shoving both under Armin's nose. "Eat."

"Put it on the table, please. Thank you."

"Armin, do I _have to_ feed you? Cause I swear I will do it," Mikasa threatened, not moving an inch.

Finally, after a long stretch of silence, Armin relented and took the plate from her, starting to eat, actually looking away from his target. All three of them took a collective sigh of relief. Mikasa then took out her wand and conjured another couch, one of a design identical to the one Armin and Annie were sitting on. Eren started suspecting it was actually Mikasa who made that one as well, probably finding Armin sitting on the floor earlier in the morning.

Eren shook his head, leaving to get his own breakfast.

When he got back into the Entrance Hall, Armin, Annie, and Mikasa were not the only ones loitering in there anymore. There were several other people standing around, all waiting for somebody to show up and throw their name inside.

He was surprised that the couch next to Mikasa was not empty anymore either. Hanji was sitting on the other end as the four of them were chatting lightly. Eren wondered how he had missed her in the Great hall, but apparently she had fallen asleep in the Hufflepuff common room and figured stopping by the kitchens was more efficient than going to the Great hall for breakfast. Eren could only shake his head and conjure his own chair. It was considerably less elegant than the couches Mikasa had made but at least it was comfy. And big enough to snuggle on with Levi while not having either of them sitting on the other's lap as they found out about an hour later.

After watching Cedric Diggory throw in his name, Reiner announced loudly that he 'can't let that twig be the only Hogwarts candidate' and whipped up a piece of parchment already with his name on it. Armin piped up that Angelina Johnson had already put her name in earlier that morning, as did several others, but Reiner pretended not to hear as he strode over confidently, Bertholdt sweating and trying to convince him not to.

Everyone else just rolled their eyes as it was obvious Reiner was just waiting for an apt opportunity. "Come on everyone, don't be such cowards," he boomed, laughing loudly, throwing a look back.

Annie snorted and Mikasa and Levi made an identical, deadpan expression. Yeah, they were _so_ scared.

However, they were not the intended targets of Reiner's jab.

Eren visibly puffed up and Jean crossed his arms in front of himself, sneering. "As if. Jaeger? Sure. But I'm not scared. I could totally own this thing if I wanted to and you know it."

Marco face-palmed and Mikasa groaned. Hanji just grinned, looking at Eren in anticipation.

There was a second of silence before Eren growled. "What did you say, Horseface?"

"I said," Jean drew out. "That you're coward."

"I'll show you who's coward here," the brown haired boy snapped before leaning over to snatch the notebook and pen out of Armin's hands, accompanied by Armin's protests, and ripped out a page to scribble his name and school on it furiously.

"You do realize Dumbledore said to write it clearly, right?"

"Shut up, Sweetest," Eren barked, throwing the book and pen back at Armin and glaring daggers at Jean.

Jean, obviously having to raise up to his own challenge, though obviously unwilling, followed suit and Annie smirked, throwing a meaningful look at Mikasa. The other girl grumbled as she dug out a few golden galleons to press into Annie's outstretched hand. The Slytherin smirked in satisfaction.

Both Eren and Jean were considerably relieved when the Goblet didn't choose them.

* * *

Hanji Zoe didn't go to sleep that night as there were _two_ parties to attend.

"Hanji, you traitor, how can you be attending _their_ party, too?" came offended shouts from both Reiner and Sasha with Connie.

* * *

The weeks leading up to the First Task in the second half of November were uneventful, despite the growing general excitement. They had a good laugh over Rita Skeeter's writing – terrible as always – and Hanji showed great enthusiasm over the idea of the _POTTER STINKS_ badges. She stole a bunch of them, remaking them to her ideal, and made all her friends wear them.

And so, all of the seventh year and lots of other students (and secretly Snape inside his robes) were now proudly wearing badges that read " _Support the TASKS – the REAL Champions of the Tournament_ " and " _PEOPLE STINK"_ when pressed. Levi refused to admit he loved them.

And Harry Potter didn't even seem to notice there were two kinds of the badges.

On the afternoon of November 24th, the whole student body moved onto the grounds to witness the Fist Task. Huddled together on the stands they listened to Ludo Bagman explain the situation, after which, the first dragon, Diggory's Swedish Short-Snout, was brought over, which resulted in a slight disturbance as Hanji got _a little_ excited.

("Miss Zoe, what are you doing?"

"THOSE ARE REAL DRAGONS, PROFFESSOR!"

"STOP CLIMBING OVER THE RAILING AND GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT!")

(Hanji spent the rest of the afternoon sulking, magically tied to her seat. Levi paid the Creevey kid two sickles to take a picture.)

After this small delay, the event finally started. They watched Diggory try to distract his dragon with a transfigured dog, Delacour enchant hers to sleep, Krum blind his (Hanji cried over this, joined by Petra and Isabel later, when the poor dragon ended up smashing its own eggs as it convulsed in pain and confusion), and Potter... summon a broom to fly around his dragon's head, acting like an annoying fly.

When the points were announced for all the Champions, along with the end results, everyone was disappointed in some way.

"What the hell, Delacour should have won," Mikasa said, a frown on her face. And everyone nodded in agreement.

Erd hummed, "I know right? I mean, putting a dragon to sleep? By herself? It's a difficult enough spell to use on people."

Nanaba joined in. "And Potter and Krum tied up for first place? I know this whole thing is rigged but come on..."

"Yeah, poor girl, cursed with Conjuctivitis and then breaking her own eggs. She has to be so heartbroken!" Hanji cried, baring her teeth. "They should have deducted him more points!"

"And Potter, seriously? _Accio_ and a broom? Like sure, he survived but that's about all I can say about it," Farlan shook his head.

"Oh come on, it was fun and dramatic! Exactly what this is supposed to be about!" Sasha replied, in between bites into her apple, Connie nodding along.

"Dramatic, maybe. But he didn't show much of his magical ability," Levi muttered, catching Eren's hand in his as they walked back to the castle.

Krista kindly argued, "Well, he _is_ three, four years younger than the others."

"Does it matter? In a competition, you shouldn't be giving extra points just because someone is younger or prettier or whatever," Annie stated matter-of-factly. "I agree it was a good idea and in the spirit of the competition, but he shouldn't be first. I'd put him second. I didn't like Diggory, the idea was stupid, and Krum broke those eggs, so."

Nobody could argue with that.

* * *

Charlie Weasley blinked stupidly several times. "You... want to pet the dragons...?"

"Yeah, especially the Chinese Fireball; she has to be so sad! I even have a raw pig's leg for her from the kitchens!"

* * *

The announcement of the Yule Ball was met with mixed emotions throughout the student body. While most already-dating pairs and many girls in general were excited for the event, others were much less enthusiastic over the idea.

Auruo went through five separate nervous breakdowns before finally succeeding in inviting Petra. Erd received 20 individual letters and 3 howlers from Ymir threatening the safety of his manly parts if he even _thought_ about touching Krista inappropriately. Then she sent a 5 pages long letter to her girlfriend apologising endlessly about her inability to attend due to the expensiveness of the tickets. This resulted in Krista declining Erd (who actually thanked her for doing so) and going to work her charm on Dumbledore, coaxing a free extra ticket out of him to send to Ymir – and getting permission to let her stay all the way through Christmas break as a bonus.

Mikasa got annoyed by the whole thing very quickly as she was forced to decline several offers for a date every day, both from Hogwarts students and from the visiting schools. (Krista was very glad she didn't have to suffer this particular pain as Ymir stated her claim very clearly with those howlers for even the visitors to understand there was no point trying.)

And then... Then there was Levi.

"So, what if we don't want to attend?"

Snape's eyes zeroed in on Levi's bored expression. "Then I guess you don't attend," he deadpanned. Then he turned around, ready to leave the classroom, but something caught his eye and he opened his mouth again. "Though it doesn't look like your _boyfriend_ approves."

Levi blinked, turning to look at Eren. He was faced with the most crestfallen face he'd ever seen. "What do you _mean_ you don't want to attend?"

The Slytherin sighed, "Exactly what I said. You know I hate this kind of thing."

"But... But..." Eren bit his bottom lip.

'Those shitty puppy eyes,' Levi thought as he watched Eren. He couldn't say no to that face. And Eren probably knew that.

It took a few minutes of internal struggle but finally, Levi relented. "Fine, but don't expect me to enjoy this shitfest."

Eren rewarded him with the most brilliant smile and Levi _almost_ didn't regret agreeing to this.

* * *

Levi spent most of Christmas Day complaining to Hanji, as she was the only one who didn't tell him he was just being stubborn. She did, however, tell him to at least try to have fun for a bit. He could always leave early, after all. She also informed him Ymir had apparently brought a supply of Firewhiskey and other assorted alcohol with her when she arrived. That lifted his mood considerably.

In the end, the grumpy Slytherin had to admit it wasn't so bad after all. The bottle of tequila disguised as pumpkin juice standing on top of their table since the beginning of the bally might have had something to do with that, however, Eren did prove to be an amazing dancing partner and an even more amazing boyfriend. He made it a point to drag Levi out for a walk in the newly-made gardens every once in a while when Levi was starting to get fed up with all the people and noise. (They might have stumbled onto some making-out couples – or be stumbled upon – several times during the night but aside from that, it was very nice.)

Watching the others dance was actually more fun than Levi expected as well. Particularly Sasha, Connie, and Isabel, no matter who their dancing partner was. Not to mention when they happened to dance with each other. (Nonetheless, he did not want to be an _active_ part of that, no matter how much he enjoyed watching Eren jump around with them.)

Regardless, he spent most of the time sitting at their table with Mikasa, commenting on the others' – and the teachers' – dancing, behaviour, and choice in attire. This past time was more and more fun the further the evening progressed and the more alcohol everyone had had in them.

At one point, long after the younger students were sent off to bed, McGonagall stopped a stumbling Isabel, asked her whether she was drunk, and where she got the alcohol. Isabel, in her inebriated state, directed her towards the table where Ymir's stash was, and which was at that point guarded by Levi, Eren, Mikasa, Annie, and Armin.

One way or another, the uptight head of the Gryffindor house turned out to be an excellent drinking partner.

* * *

"Has anyone broken into the Durmstrang ship to see if there was any good vodka?"

"Ymir, where _were_ you when I suggested this?"

"At work, probably."

On the morning of New Years Eve, there was a commotion between the Durmstrang students that none were willing to explain. Unrelated, there was also a Sex on the Beach Party the very same evening.

* * *

January was met with hangover, tearful goodbyes accompanied by promises of marriage, and more of Rita Skeeter's _shocking_ discoveries.

("So, Hagrid is apparently a half giant," Farlan said offhandedly one morning at breakfast, lazily listing though a copy of _Daily Prophet_.

"You don't say," replied Annie, voice full of sarcasm as she bit into her toast.)

Some where slowly starting to panic over their nearing exams and graduation, wondering what they were going to do after, or already preparing for their chosen careers.

Armin in particular could almost always be found buried in books, trying to catch up to muggle high school teachings as he was preparing for college exams, while on the other end of the spectrum, Sasha and Connie were mostly pretending those worries weren't approaching them at rapid speeds.

Life went on.

The first break from reality for the seventh years came in the form of the Second Task on February 24th. They gathered by the lake and, as with the First Task, listened to Ludo Bagman explain the rules.

"So, will we get like, some magical TV, or something?" Farlan asked as they watched the Champions all disappear into the black depths of the Lake. His question was answered some 30 seconds later, when a giant magical clock appeared. But no TV.

They exchanged looks.

And then they collectively got up and left, only leaving behind a complaining Armin. Taking pity on the blond, they all took turns in small groups to keep the bookmaker company.

"Wait, where is Moby-Dick?" Hanji asked during her turn, scanning the water surface suspiciously, seeing no giant tentacles nor arms.

"I dunno, haven't seen him since the beginning," Armin replied.

At that Hanji got up with a resolved look on her face.

Armin called after her, alarmed. "Where are you going?"

"For justice," the girl answered.

Armin exchanged a worried look with Petra before the latter got up and ran after the slightly crazy Ravenclaw girl.

As it turned out, "justice" meant sneaking to the judges' table and questioning Dumbledore about the whereabouts of the Giant squid. And apparently, "it's been shut into a comfortable enclosure by the far end of the Lake" was not a satisfactory answer.

"Moby-Dick is claustrophobic! How could you!" she screamed, and Petra grabbed her arm, dragging her away, apologizing profusely all the while.

"Moby-Dick?" Karkaroff asked after a long minute of silence, confusion much evident both in his voice and face and on his face.

"How does she know the thing gets claustrophobic?" Bagman asked, bewildered as well. "Are you telling me she can actually communicate with the _Giant squid?_ "

More confused and reluctantly-admiring silence ensued.

* * *

After the Second Task was finished, Armin joined Eren, Levi, Mikasa, and Annie in the Ravenclaw common room – a neutral ground safe from celebrations of the House Champions – where the girls were watching Levi and Eren play wizarding chess. Admittedly, it was a very one-sided fight with Eren thinking only about offense and never more than two moves ahead.

"So, who won?" Annie asked when she noticed him approching.

"Who do you think?" Armin asked in response.

"Potter," all four of them replied in unison.

Armin snorted. "Nice guess, but no. It was Diggory. Potter is still first in total, though, now tied with Diggory for a change."

"Same thing," Mikasa shrugged and Armin had to agree silently.

"Don't laugh now, but Potter was apparently the first to arrive to the hostages. Apparently he was scared they would die if he left them there or something and refused to leave without all of them, and finished dead last," he summarised instead after sitting down and giving his girlfriend a kiss.

Four sets of eyebrows shot up as they all stared at Armin.

"Is he actually stupid?" Eren asked after a moment of silence.

"Probably," Armin nodded. "But the best part, or more like the worst part, is that he got only two points less than Diggory for his 'moral fibre,'" he finished, making air quotes with his hands.

They all blinked. "Seriously?"

"Yep," Armin nodded gravely.

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to laugh or fucking cry."

* * *

"Moby-Dick, you poor baby, how could they do this to you?"

"Hanji, please, you've been in there for fifteen minutes, you're seriously going to catch pneumonia!"

* * *

The next few months were carried on in the name of studying and more studying. As NEWTs drew nearer, everyone was on edge and ready to break down. Mikasa took turns with Annie in forcing Armin to eat. Even Sasha and Connie were seen studying, or more often, crying over their textbooks or playing Battleships over their notes, in the library. The second half of June couldn't come soon enough, in everyone's opinion.

A week before their exams, Eren and Levi were lying in Levi's bed together, taking an afternoon off from studying so they wouldn't go crazy. They've been mostly napping and talking during the past few hours, trying their best to pretend there wasn't any crazy important exam to be had soon.

It was working for the most part, but their conversation did stir in that direction a few times. And in the direction of their chosen careers.

"Have you decided what you want to do after graduation, yet?" Eren asked after minutes of comfortable silence.

He felt Levi shrug from where he was lying on his chest. "Not yet. I still want to open that tea shop though. Tea deserves better than shitty Madam Puddifoot's."

Eren chuckled fondly at Levi's disgusted tone. "So that's a no to taking over Kenny's gang?"

Levi clicked his tongue. "That's been a no since I was fucking ten, Eren."

The Gryffindor laughed, rolling over to lie on his side, hugging Levi loosely and burying his face in the crook of his neck. "I'm glad," he whispered as Levi wrapped an arm around his shoulders automatically.

The other hummed in agreement, returning Eren's original question. "What about you? Going to follow your dad?"

Eren made a face. "God no; you know I can't deal well with people. I'd be a terrible healer," he muttered, a slight bitterness over not being able to fulfil his father's old wish in his voice. "He's not too adamant about it anyway. He told me to just do what I want to."

"And what's that?" Levi asked quietly.

Eren was silent for a moment. "I don't know." There was a undeniable hint of defeat in those three words and Levi pressed a kiss to his temple.

"That's okay. We're still only 18, you know."

Eren hummed non-commitally, still not entirely convinced, closing his eyes and letting Levi's breathing lull him to sleep.

* * *

"Hanji, where are you going?"

"To offer myself as sacrifice for the Blast-Ended Screwts."

 _"Hanji, no!"_

* * *

To say the Third Task turned out to be pretty grim would be an understatement. With the death of Cedric Diggory and apparent return of Lord Voldemort, finding out their teacher had been a convicted Death-Eater all along on top of that... Everyone was only glad they were not a part of that shitfest.

"Well, things at this school are getting worse and worse with each year," Farlan muttered darkly, a hand wrapped tightly and protectively around Isabel as they sat at the end-of-the-year feast.

"I'm kind of glad we're graduating, to be honest," Levi said, gripping Eren's hand.

Mikasa, sitting on Eren's other side and resting her head on his shoulder, piped up quietly, "How about we all just pack up and move out of the country? Southern Italy sounds nice."

Mike snorted, "Sounds like a plan."

"Well, we can just steal a few thestrals and we're ready to go," Hanji said in all seriousness, looking around expectantly.

She was met with smiles and fond expressions. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm really going to miss you, Hanji," Annie said with a crooked smile.

"Why would you miss me? We'll get houses right next to each other on that beach in Italy," Hanji stated, cocking her head to the side in apparent confusion. She still looked completely serious while saying it.

"Sure, you herd up the thestrals while I go rob the fucking Gringotts," Levi told her, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Hanji's face split into a wide grin. "That's the spirit!"

Everyone could only shake their heads. Yeah, they were going to miss this maniac.

* * *

"Morning!"

"Hanji what the hell are you doing in our house at 5 _goddarn_ AM?"

"I missed you!"

"We work in the same place!"

"...Levi Jr. missed you?"

"Out."

* * *

 **A/N:** (Excuse me now while I go offer myself as sacrifice to the Blast-Ended Skrewts.)

When I reached the last scene, I stared at the doc and my only thought was, "I never thought this far ahead, what do I do now?" So if the ending is weird, that's why. Also, I had a part of this written since April and only started it back on Saturday, so if you felt a weird change somewhere around the one-third mark, _that's_ why.

Who else wants a PEOPLE STINK badge?


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